4 men fight against widow custom in Maharashtra, set their wives free

Suresh Date, 44, with his wife Sunita and their two children at Varkhed village in Buldhana

With an intend to create awareness and support the demand for imposing legislative ban on widow customs in the state of Maharashtra, four men (two middle aged and two elderly) from different districts of Maharashtra, have made a written submission to their respective tehsil (revenue) office, expressing their desire that no one should impose force on their wife to follow the regressive widow custom, after their demise. A move that has been welcomed and appreciated by Latadevi Borade (49), a widow, who has been raising her concern for the last three decades.

MiDDAY in its article dated May 26, titled ‘This 49 year old has been raising voice for the rights of widow' widowed at the age of 19, Latadevi Borade objected to widow customs, faced ostracisation from relatives, but continues her battle and article dated May 27, titled ‘Need laws in place and a change in mindset' highlighted legal experts laud Latadevi Borade for her continued fight against widow customs, agree with her than just raising awareness is no enough.

Pramod Zinjade, 64, and his wife Alka at Pothre village of Karmala tehsil

Pramod Zinjade (64), of Pothre Village, from Karmala tehsil in Solapur district, a social activist, who raised his concern about widow custom and is instrumental in starting a moment in Maharashtra, after one of his colleague Datta Musale (50) died due to heart attack on June 11, 2020, during the covid 19 lock down and he (Pramod) had witnessed the deceased widow Kavita (42), objecting to breaking off her bangles, wiping off the vermilion and even mangalsutra, while taking his body for cremation. This scene touched Pramod so badly, that he decided to raise his concern about such a practice, which took away all rights from the woman post the demise of her husband.

Confirming the same, Pramod said, "It is unfortunate, that a widow, has to give up all her rights of wearing colourful sarees, apply vermilion or even get invited for any auspicious ceremony with her husband's demise. She suddenly becomes unwanted and is treated as untouchable. The cries of the widow (June 11, 2020) at a young age, pleading the mourners to not break her bangles and mangalsutra, cannot be forgotten. Musale left behind three small children. It was in January this year that I decided to start a campaign to put an end to widow custom practice. I circulated my views on my whatsapp groups and the feedback from people and nearby villagers made the difference. I was thrilled when Herwad and Mangaon, Gram panchayats, in their gram sabha came up with the historic decision to put an end to widow custom, and I wrote numerous letters to the state government, and various political leaders, which compelled the government to pass the recent notification calling 28000 gram panchayats to spread awareness about such a practice and to do away with the widow custom gradually."

Govind Rahate and his wife Vandana, at Umadi village

When asked about his decision of not making his wife follow the custom, Pramod said, "In the past (in 1983) I had raised my objection to the certain community members not being allowed to the barber shop, and I had objected to such a practice on the ground that every male had right to trim his hair and there could be no discrimination on the basis of caste, class and creed, some of the villagers from higher community were against me supporting the lower caste community concern. And today, the situation is different, even lower caste people go to the same barber shop, where they were not allowed before. Similarly, I decided to do something different, to do away with this practice of widow custom and I thought, post my demise, the revenue official will ensure that my desire would be considered as my last wish and will see to it my wife is not forced to follow widow customs."

Inspired by Pramod, others Govind Rahate (52) of Umadi village, and Suresh Date (44) from Varkhed village, Malkapur Tehsil, Buldhana district, and Rameshwar Godse (70) from Barad Village, Mudkhed Tehsil, Nanded, these men too visited their respective tehsil office and have given a written undertaking that their wives should be set free from adhering to the widow custom, post their demise.

Interestingly, Suresh Date, who work as a Kotwal in Tehsil office from Buldhana said, "I had desired to make the wish on a stamp paper but the local Tehsil office said, since it was for a social cause, the stamp duty (buying Rs 100 stamp paper was exempted) and I could affix court fee stamp of Rs 20 on my application, which could suffice the purpose. I had taken consent of my wife Sunita (33), who expressed similar views in support of women rights."

Govind Rahate (52), a farmer from Buldhana said, "My wife Vandana, was supportive and that helped me to make my written submission to the Tehsil office.My village has a population of around 4500 people with over 1000 houses, though some people feel that the customary practice, cannot be changed easily, there are men,who too feel, that widow customs should be done away with. I have spoken to twenty plus married men from the village, who have expressed their desire to make similar submission."

Rameshwar Godse (70), a farmer from Nanded, too have made a written submission to the Tehsil office, he said, "Along with my written desire, I have also submitted a letter to the tehsil office, requesting to take necessary steps to do away with widow custom. My wife Nagin (65) expressed her gratitude for me taking such a step. Soon our gram sabha too will be making an official declaration of doing away with such widow custom practice, i am in touch with many neighbouring villages too, to spread the awareness."

‘Many more men should come forward to support the cause'

Latadevi Borade (49), of Awalai village, located in Atpadi tehsil of Sangli, was mere 19 years of age, when she became a widow and started raising voice against widow customs for last three decades, welcomed the move and said, "I congratulate the four men from different parts of Maharashtra, to have taken the bold step of making written submission to the revenue officials of their respective village, about their desire of not compelling their wives to follow widow custom after their demise. We must understand that it was only because of men like Jyotiba Phule, his wife Savitribai could get education and today girls in the society are getting educated. Similarly, the action of these four men will not go in vain, it is the beginning of a change in the society, and when men support such a cause (do away with widow custom), the ruling government will surely be compelled to make required changes in the legislation. I am sure, many more men in the state would come forward and support the cause to do away with widow custom."

Legal expert welcomes the move

"Often is the case that as individuals we do not want regressive things to be followed. But "What will people say" has a huge role in our Indian society's decision-making process. The letters, affidavits and wills of these "husbands" given to the authority are a welcome change and reflect what they actually want. These documents may not have a legal value in its strict sense but this will help in a longer run and it will definitely improve the situations of the widows," said Advocate Swapnil Ambure, who practices in Bombay High Court.

"The ground reality is that the quasi-judicial officers who are tasked with implementing the notification are often challenged by majority villagers in the groups stating that it's a personal matter. In case of such letters being issued the officers will have something more to convince the villagers to desist from such regressive and inhuman practices pertaining to widows. If these issues or a notification, being challenged, the will of the husbands, reflected through these documents would be a handy piece of evidence which can have a positive impact on countering the challenge," Advocate Swapnil concluded.