31 July,2023 07:25 AM IST | Mumbai | Tanishka D’Lyma
Tap into the joys of solitude by stretching your mind through books, movies or exercise
If life had bullet-point answers to all of its problems, self-help books would be much shorter. Fortunately for those who like to read, life throws us customised curveballs making most advice, even if it has worked for someone, a game of trial and error. The book we picked up this week was The Wisdom of Morrie: Living and Aging Creatively and Joyfully (Hachette India, 2023) penned by Morrie Schwartz, a professor of sociology known posthumously for author Mitch Albom's book, Tuesdays with Morrie, just before his passing in 1995 and edited by his son Rob Schwartz. Through the 302 pages, the author doesn't advise as much as asks readers to pave their own way to living their later years with renewed zest for life, through self-reflection that is guided by pointers and anecdotes.
Build a supportive network of peers who are going through similar phases in their life, to build a sense of camaraderie
While the book speaks to older folk, and is written keeping in mind anyone aged 65 years and above - it also uses instances from Schwartz's senior friends - Schwartz writes, "This book is for everyone," and the lessons can be relevant to all. So, here are our top six lessons handpicked from the chapters, with accompanying tips by Sneha Gupta, founder of LotsOfLearning and personal development coach.
Schwartz: "Motivation is the inspiration to act - an urge that generates effort and focused action. It is the push to try, to assert oneself, counteracting unwillingness, resistance, weariness, inertia, fear, and anxiety."
Meditation can help you build an objective outlook
The author recognises our varying levels of motivation and urges us to believe in the value of our work in order to tap into motivation as a source of energy. To tackle fluctuations in motivation, Gupta shares, "Create a vision board that represents your goals, and keep adding thoughts and quotes that inspire you." Interact with this board daily. She adds, "Practise affirmations to cultivate a mindset that overcomes self-doubt, and acknowledge your progress to continue your journey during periods of low motivation."
Schwartz: "Many of the tools that we need in order to age well and become the best we can be may be summed up in one word: awareness."
The topics covered in the book call for reflection and evaluation of oneself (looking inward) and surroundings (looking outward) to help identify problem areas and possible solutions. Gupta suggests cultivating mindfulness to aid awareness and observation. One such exercise can be mindful breathing, where you focus on the sensation of the oxygen entering and leaving your body. You can bring mindfulness into other tasks such as eating, as a way to gradually pace your thoughts and improve focus.
Sneha Gupta
Schwartz: "One could argue that some modicum of hope must exist for us to soldier on even when that hope is laced with degrees of despair."
Being cognizant of the presence of hope, if at all a flicker, might as well be the source of motivation to push past difficult moments. When we need to tip the scale
towards hopefulness, Gupta suggests preparing before the crisis to habituate better responses. She adds, "Have a sense of purpose, and look to it when facing adversity to reignite your hope and for a compelling reason to preserve."
A daunting situation can feel overwhelming and rob you of hope; break the task into manageable steps to create a sense of progress. Lastly, seek help; a sense of comfort and togetherness can bring you hope.
Break the task into manageable steps to create a sense of progress and reinstate your hope
Schwartz: "The criterion for judging change is generally how much anxiety and distress it brings us versus how much joy and satisfaction."
The author notes that in the face of inevitable changes in life, sameness and familiarity is security. But how do we come to terms with changes in health, responsibilities, and dependency while growing old? The book invites readers to reflect on their priorities and needs to deal better with changes.
Gupta highlights viewing the past and present with compassion towards yourself. She notes, "Reframing our mindset about ageing [and the changes it brings about] to focus on the wisdom and experiences gained over the years, will help shift our perspective from loss to personal growth." She also emphasises the importance of staying curious in our outlook towards life to avoid stagnating in the past.
Schwartz: "Loneliness is an inner ache when we are not aware of being connected to ourselves, others, nature, or anything else."
After examining one's sense of loneliness, the book details steps like stretching the imagination through books, movies, or exercises, and by looking outside of oneself to help redirect your perspectives of loneliness to understand the joys of solitude. To this, Gupta adds a simple exercise that can help explore solitude: journalling. She explains, "Reflect on your thoughts, feelings, and experiences. This practice allows us insight into our emotions and patterns of behaviour."
Schwartz: "To make our awareness correspond more to reality as it is, we must try to free ourselves as much as we can from our biases, stereotypes, and habitual distortions."
Across chapters, Schwartz highlights the need for objectivity in gaining awareness. Building a meditative practice can help you develop the presence of mind and focus needed in order to take a step back and re-examine any situation. Gupta's tip for beginners to cultivate this practice includes starting small and maintaining consistency.
She concludes with a reminder, "Meditation is not about achieving a certain state, but observing thoughts without judgment and accepting whatever arises. This approach can help bring in a newfound sense of acceptance and [objectivity]."
