Ila Arun’s new virtual play takes on the modern role of maternal grandmothers

The Zoom play is structured like an app for nanis, where grandmothers who feel isolated, come and share their stories

Back when I was growing up, or even when my daughter was growing up, there was no concept of ‘ifs and buts' in the love that a maternal grandmother [nani] could pour on her grandchildren," recalls veteran actor Ila Arun. In fact, Arun's childhood memories are coloured with the love, warmth and discipline that her nani meted out to her and her siblings in equal measure. "Every summer, we'd trudge off to Allahabad, to my nani's place. We'd spend hours climbing trees, picking fruits from her orchard, listening to her folklores, and tagging along with her to splash around in the waters of the Ganga. All of that is an integral part of who I am today," reminisces the actor.

When the time came for her own mother to be a granny, she did the same - taking Arun's kids out on elephant safaris in Rajasthan, showering them with treats, and also teaching them about math and mythology. "In all of this, if nanis fed us or our kids five rasgullas, or ghee-roti with sugar, our mothers wouldn't count the calories; they'd count the emotions. When we mothers left our kids with nanis, we'd never question or monitor their judgment. In fact, nanis were an invaluable source of help for mothers, so that they could take a break," she claims.

However, things have taken a turn, asserts Arun, pointing to how mothers in today's modern families impose conditions on the way grandmothers express their love for their grandkids - reducing them to play the role of nannies, instead. This is the conflict that's at the heart of Arun's comical new virtual play, Nani V/S Nanny, a reading of which will take place this weekend. The Zoom play is structured like an app for nanis, where grandmothers who feel suffocated and isolated, come and share their stories, explains Arun. Presented by Surnai Theatre And Folk Arts Foundation in collaboration with Mumbai Theatre Guide, it also features actors Anjula Bedi, Shilpa Varma and Manju Baveja. "This is our second virtual play after Yeh Raste Hain Pyar Ke that received a good response. Nani V/S Nanny is a work-in-progress; we might add more layers," she shares.

Much of the story is inspired by Arun's own experiences, anecdotes borrowed from fellow grannies, and her own observation of the changing family structure in India. "Even today, nanis will go all out to do anything for their kids and grandkids, including travelling abroad, leaving their comfortable lives behind, to lend a helping hand. But the moment we start placing restrictions on her relationship with her grandkids, she becomes a nanny, because we're taking away her right to love them. She just becomes someone who cooks, cleans and looks after your kids," reasons Arun.

The play is thus directed at young mothers who, she notes, are taking references of parenting from western countries - for instance, trying to instil family values among kids by celebrating foreign festivals, while shunning desi ones. "It's good to learn from other cultures, but what about our values? Nanis are the storehouse of traditional knowledge and our family values are what children need. This is what we're trying to express through the play, which will be a humorous satire," the theatre
artiste promises.

On: June 26, 7 pm
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