What is ‘Guilty Vacation Syndrome’? The silent epidemic affecting working Indians

Even on big holidays like Diwali and Christmas, Megha Kuchu often finds herself worrying about work. "I feel guilty for about 50 percent of my leaves. I've started to work on this and I'm better now but I had to put in a lot of effort to train my mind," says the director at a city-based digital agency.

Taking a break from her first job was similarly challenging for Archana Deshmukh (name changed on request), an early career journalist, as the thought of it often guilt-tripped her. "I would just keep stressing about work all the time. I stopped myself from enjoying things and barely had a life outside of work. Even if I did, it was mostly of a solitary kind with zero interaction with others," says the 24-year-old Mumbaikar.

People commonly feel guilt and shame about taking breaks from work, says Debabani Bhattacharya, clinical psychologist and outreach associate at MPower, which hurts their self-evaluation and confidence. To compensate, they begin going on fewer breaks, postpone plans of vacation, apologise repeatedly and spend more time in the workplace. All this can quickly lead to emotional exhaustion and burnout.

Nearly three-fifths or 58 percent of people worldwide felt vacation deprived in 2021, according to the Vacation Deprivation Report 2022 (VDP), recently published by online travel platform Expedia. ‘Vacation deprived' means they don't have enough time for vacations or are unable to use all of the allotted vacation time. The study conducted with 14,544 respondents in 16 countries across North and South America, Europe and Asia-Pacific further revealed that women, GenZ and millennials and frontline workers or essential employees are more vacation deprived than their counterparts.

In its 2018 report, the findings showed that 75 percent of Indians -- the highest among all countries -- felt vacation deprived and refrained from taking leaves due to a number of professional and personal factors. Those who utilise their leaves for periodic breaks or vacations are often worried about pending work, missing out on opportunities and lower levels of productivity among other factors, which ultimately leave them with a feeling of guilt amid their break.

What causes the guilt?

With the pandemic, work-from-home culture and workcations blurred the distance between one's professional and personal space. Further, the post-lockdown period has added to work pressures, especially among young employees, to consistently prove themselves in order to secure their jobs amid scarce employment opportunities and a trend of layoffs that left many jobless in the last two years.

In a society which associates work life with an individual's personality and overall growth, the idea of rest and poor performance becomes a sign of insincerity and laziness, says MPower's Bhattacharya. The guilt arises from a feeling of sabotaging one's career growth and not accomplishing stipulated work targets while spending time on vacations.

Deshmukh, who quit her first job in September 2021, says she underwent undue pressure to be "perfect" while she was beginning her career as a reporter, which impacted her physical and mental health. While she finally decided to take a much-needed break, during the initial days she was hounded by a feeling of guilt for not being as active and productive as her fellow batchmates.

"The initial few days I felt very guilty because I had nothing to look forward to, no work to do and even if you come from a relatively privileged background, you still have this feeling that you want to earn your own keep and not ask your parents for money. The fact that I could not do my work as a reporter for those months was also guilt inducing. I did struggle to adjust to the break, but yes, therapy helped channelise my energy in a much better way," says Deskhmukh.

Indian employees are unable to avail their full vacation days because of reasons like missing out on important work decisions and fear of being seen as less committed, Manmeet Ahluwalia, the marketing head of Expedia said in an interview with Financial Express. Interestingly, at least 18 percent of those surveyed for the VDP report felt that those who are successful at their job do not take vacation days.

As someone in a senior position leading a team of co-workers, Kuchu states that taking a break is not as spontaneous as for the rest of the team. It involves proper planning and has to be done in a manner that does not affect the project pipelines. Most of the team leaders also end up being available for their team members during their leaves. Kuchu, who leads a team for planning, strategy and brand solutions at her organisation, feels transferring responsibilities in a small team becomes difficult.

"Sometimes the guilt was just about not doing anything on a holiday when I know that I have a long list to get to once I'm back at work. You tend to be preoccupied mentally, not enjoying the moment, distracted, in deep thought about small things, short tempered and just generally cranky," says Kuchu. "Almost 80 percent of the work that the rest of the team does has to be reviewed. So if the work is not planned, there is no way I can relax mentally even on a day off. I prefer to take time off when the workload is low instead of during a hectic week." This meant getting back to work and being in control of her professional life calmed her more than her vacation.

The constant requirement or expectation to be available for work queries also urges people to think about work even during their leaves or vacation. The VDP report states that Indian workers continue to get diverted by work while vacationing as 32 percent of supervisors, 34 percent of co-workers and 33 percent of junior staff keep bothering them while they are on leave.

Need for better leave policies

According to the VDP report, Indian workers do not use all of their designated leaves with 16 percent of the employees feeling that using up all their leaves would leave a negative impression on their bosses, while 28 percent reported feeling their work schedule did not allow them to take leaves.

Kuchu believes that the attitude of the senior management or those designing policies play an important role. Even if a rigid system is in place, if the boss or the chief executive officer understands that the team needs to switch off, then employees have little to worry about. However, if the management "enforces unrealistic timelines", employees at the lower rung are left with no option.

Meanwhile, Deshmukh feels that although company policies differ, provisions for a minimum of 30-45 leaves including mental health leaves and period leaves must be a standard process. This will help individuals to take care of themselves and give their 100 percent to the profession too.

Bhattacharya stresses on the importance of taking regular breaks from work life to recuperate from work fatigue and psychological fatigue, which can ultimately affect one's professional output. "The outcome of vacation guilt can manifest through poor coping, emotional dysregulation, depression, acute anxiety attacks and diminished sleep. Poor work-life balance can lead to poor interpersonal relationships, enhanced conflict in family life and decreased satisfaction with life in general," she adds.