Do situationships affect our emotional intelligence? Experts say yes, here’s why

In the landscape of modern dating, situationships have become increasingly prevalent. A recent online survey, conducted by Real Research, revealed that 30.34 per cent of participants opine that Gen Z favours situationships over committed relationships. This begs the question: What exactly is a situationship?

In the grey space between profound love and fleeting romances, exists a kind of relationship that demands further scrutiny. This complex yet emotional bond is characterised by a lack of clearly defined boundaries and expectations. Further, it moves away from conventional tags of ‘love interest,' ‘romantic partners,' etc. to pursue an intimate bond without complying with the rules of a traditional relationship.

Dr. Pavana S, a prominent relationship expert and sexologist based in Bengaluru shares that relationships play pivotal roles in the development of emotional intelligence. However, with a lack of clarity about where the relationship is headed - the outcome becomes vague and hazy. To understand how situationships affect our emotional intelligence, Midday.com spoke to relationship experts and sexologists who decode the impact of this dating methodology.

Loss of empathy
Shibani Surve (26), a Mumbai-based website designer met her date after a long break from her previous relationship. They went through a talking stage, a couple of dates and felt an intimate connection building slowly. However, the man revealed he wasn't over his ex, and they decided to stay friends. Yet, they gave it another try when he opened up about his insecurities. But, he became hot and cold again, attributing it to family problems and mental health issues.

Despite her patience and support, Surve was not able to understand the direction in which their relationship was headed. After agreeing to a casual relationship, she realised it wasn't benefiting her and decided to end things. Shockingly, she discovered later that he had been hanging out with her to make another girl jealous. Feeling insignificant and hurt, this episode left Surve feeling unsure and deeply hurt.

"Situationships limit the depth of emotional connection and empathy by keeping interactions predominantly surface-level" shares Dr. Ankita Priydarshini, consultant psychiatrist, founder & clinical head of Thriving Minds, Dehradun. She continues, "The absence of a committed foundation may result in hesitancy to share deeper emotions or vulnerabilities, hindering the development of a genuine emotional bond."

One of the impacts of being in a situationship is how empathy may be compromised as individuals navigate these ambiguous relationships without a full understanding of or commitment to each other's emotional needs, preventing the deep connection often found in more committed relationships.

Situationships often exhibit characteristics like undefined boundaries, lack of clear communication and a superficial emotional connection. These traits contribute to a potential lack of emotional depth, making it challenging for individuals to fully understand and connect with their partners, adds Dr Pavana.

Do relationships contribute to emotional intelligence?
In Priyadarshini's opinion, relationships, whether romantic or platonic, serve as crucial arenas for developing emotional intelligence. Through these interactions, individuals learn to navigate a spectrum of emotions, practice empathy, engage in effective communication and conflict resolution.

Understanding and managing emotions within the context of relationships contribute significantly to emotional intelligence, fostering self-awareness and honing interpersonal skills essential for healthy connections.

Within a situationship, the lack of commitment and defined expectations in situationships can significantly impact self-awareness, thereby affecting one's emotional intelligence. Shares Dr Pavana. Without clear boundaries, individuals may find it challenging to understand their own needs and navigate their emotional responses effectively.

The uncertainty inherent in situationships hinders the introspection necessary for self-awareness, a crucial component of emotional intelligence that relies on a deep understanding of one's own emotions and the ability to manage them in various social contexts.

Navigating situationships without clear boundaries can take a substantial emotional toll, remarks Priyadarshini. The constant ambiguity and lack of commitment may lead to feelings of anxiety, confusion, and frustration. This emotional turbulence can hinder the development of emotional intelligence by preventing individuals from fully understanding and managing their own emotions and those of their partners.

The absence of clear expectations may contribute to a sense of insecurity and instability, further complicating emotional growth within the context of the relationship.

How to approach situationships in an informed manner?
The shifting attitudes towards commitment and the prioritisation of personal growth and flexibility contribute to the rise of these ambiguous connections, experts remark. Social dynamics, influenced by a desire for independence and exploration, often lead individuals to opt for situationships, avoiding the constraints of traditional labels and allowing for a more fluid approach to relationships. However, one must be aware of how to approach a situationship:

Red flags in situationships include:
a) Inconsistent communication
b) Avoidance of defining the relationship
c) A persistent lack of commitment.

These signs can significantly impact emotional intelligence by preventing individuals from addressing and resolving issues within the relationship. Recognising these warning signs becomes crucial for maintaining emotional well-being and fostering healthier connections. Ignoring such red flags may lead to emotional distress, hindering the development of the emotional intelligence necessary for navigating complex social and interpersonal dynamics.

Despite the challenges inherent in situationships, individuals can actively work on developing emotional intelligence. This involves prioritising open and honest communication to foster understanding between partners. Setting clear personal boundaries is essential for navigating the uncertainties of situationships.

Regular reflection on emotions and experiences, both individually and as a couple, allows for increased self-awareness and emotional growth. Seeking external support, such as therapy, can provide valuable insights and guidance. Additionally, fostering a mind-set of continuous self-improvement and learning from relationship experiences contributes to emotional intelligence growth, even in the absence of traditional commitment.

In a nutshell, "situationships"- common in modern dating, lack the clarity and commitment of traditional relationships, posing challenges to emotional intelligence. These ambiguous connections often suffer from shallow communication and limited emotional depth, hindering empathy and self-awareness. Navigating situationships without clear boundaries can lead to emotional strain and recognising red flags is crucial.

Keeping the roadblocks aside, individuals can enhance emotional intelligence by prioritising open communication, setting boundaries, and seeking external support. In essence, intentional efforts to foster understanding and self-awareness can mitigate the impact of situationships on emotional growth, fostering more meaningful connections even without traditional commitment.