Afraid of having sex due to pregnancy scares? Experts share tips that will help

The symptoms of pregnancy start to show a week after conception. Photo Courtesy: iStock

Breathe. It is natural to feel scared of unwanted pregnancy right after having sex. You are definitely not the only one to go through this. Pregnancy scares are real and they can make you incapable of performing even your daily activities. But after a certain level, it begins to take a toll on one's mind if not dealt with immediately.

"Gaining knowledge about how pregnancy occurs, making correct use of contraceptives and having open communication with your partner are the only ways in which you can deal with pregnancy scares," says Niyatii N Shah, intimacy coach, founder and president, of Averti Education and council of sex educators for social change.

Understanding the various contraceptive methods available is key to making informed choices and confidently navigating your sexual experiences. Shah suggests learning about barrier methods like condoms, hormonal options like birth control pills, or long-acting methods like intrauterine devices (IUDs). She says, "Clear and honest communication with your partner is essential. Share your concerns, fears and desires regarding contraception and pregnancy. Discussing your thoughts openly can foster a deeper connection, and mutual understanding and allow you to explore alternative ways of satisfying each other without compromising your peace of mind."

Methods of contraception to avoid pregnancy
Dr Pratima Thamke, consultant obstetrician and gynaecologist, Motherhood Hospital, Kharghar lists down two common contraceptive methods you can consider using
1. Condoms
They are made from strong materials that have been tested over and over to make sure they work. Condoms protect you from sexually transmitted infections (STIs) and unexpected pregnancies. They are 98 per cent effective when used correctly. Condoms block sperms from getting into the uterus.

2. Emergency contraceptive pill
Also known as ‘morning after pill', it has progesterone called "Levonorgestrel". The pill is available over the counter and prevents pregnancy after unprotected sex. It is better to consult your doctor and only then take the pill.

Safety of contraceptive pills
Thamke says, "Oral contraceptive pills are common contraception used by a majority of Indian women. Different types of pills are available, so opt for the right one that suits you. Speak to the doctor before taking the pill to understand the right ways to take it. These pills are safe and help prevent pregnancy. On taking these pills, women mostly encounter changes in the bleeding pattern, bloating, nausea, vomiting, tender breasts, acidity and vaginal spotting for a few months.
While these pills are safe, Shah says, "A morning-after pill is not meant to be taken as a regular form of contraception. It's an emergency contraceptive option and must be taken only in times when there are high chances of another form of contraception failing."

A safe time to have sex
Although, contraceptive methods are primary ways to have protected sex, Thamke says, the time you plan to have sex might help to a certain level although nothing you do can guarantee 100 per cent protection.

She says, "A woman is most fertile at the time of ovulation, which usually occurs 12 to 14 days before the menses. Ovulation is when the mature egg is released from the ovary. It's an essential part of menstruation and plays a pivotal role in pregnancy. It is the time of the month when the woman is most likely to get pregnant. However, there are high chance that a woman will not get pregnant having sex while on her period. That's because the ovulation time is several days away. However, sometimes pregnancy can happen even when you have sex during your periods."

If you are new to sex and are contemplating whether you should go through it or not, Shah suggests taking steps in that direction only when you are completely ready for it. She says, "Take time to reflect on your emotional, social, mental and financial readiness. Assess your feelings, desires and concerns surrounding pregnancy. Understand that it's okay to have different comfort levels at different stages of life. Trust your instincts. Be prepared that even though you are taking all the care, you might get pregnant." She also suggests having a contraceptive method in place, being aware of it and also speaking to your doctor before taking this big decision.

Necessity of having sex for a successful relationship
While most women falsely believe that it is their responsibility to keep their partners sexually happy and satisfied for a long-living relationship, Shah says, "While penetrative sex can be a fulfilling and intimate experience for many couples, it is by no means a requirement for a successful relationship. Each relationship is unique, and what defines success is deeply personal and varies from couple to couple. True success in a relationship lies in the emotional bond, trust and understanding that partners cultivate."

Signs of pregnancy
The symptoms start to show a week after conception. Common signs include missed periods, breast changes, tiredness, frequent urination, nausea and vomiting (morning sickness). A woman should do a pregnancy test from the first day of a missed period. If you don't know when the next period is due, do the test at least 21 days after you last had unprotected sex.

Steps to take in case of conception
Thamke says, "If a woman wants to opt for abortion, the earlier she starts the process the better. An ultrasound is performed first following which the doctor takes the decision on when to abort. According to the Medical Termination of Pregnancy Act in India, 1971, an abortion can be done until 20 weeks and 24 weeks in special cases. Abortion can also be done using a pill up to 7 weeks depending on how long into pregnancy you choose to abort."

Dealing with pregnancy scares together
Going through a tough time together makes the difficulty at hand a tad bit easier to face. Be there for each other. Encourage an environment where both partners feel comfortable expressing their fears, concerns and desires without judgment. Establishing a safe and supportive space that allows for honest conversations and the opportunity to understand each other's perspectives.

Shah reiterates exploring different methods of contraception available to you to tackle pregnancy scares. Research the options, their effectiveness and any potential side effects. Understanding the available choices can help alleviate fears and empower you to make informed decisions about your sexual health.
If fear still lingers, consider seeking professional guidance. Consult a healthcare provider or a trusted sexual health counsellor who can provide accurate information, answer your questions and address any concerns you may have.

Remember that sexual intimacy is a shared responsibility. Discuss and agree upon the approach to contraception that feels right for both of you.

Alternatives of sex
If the fear of pregnancy is particularly overwhelming and you feel you are not ready, you can focus on non-penetrative sexual activities too that bring pleasure and emotional connection. Engage in alternative forms of intimacy, such as sensual touch, passionate kissing, or mutual exploration that allow you to experience closeness without the concern of pregnancy.

Sexual intimacy is not solely defined by penetrative sex. Emotional connection, trust and vulnerability play pivotal roles in a fulfilling relationship. Prioritize nurturing your emotional bond, engaging in deep conversations and finding non-sexual ways to express love and desire for one another.

Also Read: Protected sex: Expert advice on using female condoms correctly