Twice bitten, now fight shy of guys. I like gals now!

20 November,2009 09:34 AM IST |   |  Diana

I'm 19 years old. Last year, I found out my boyfriend was two-timing me with my best friend.


Twice bitten, now fight shy of guys. I like gals now!

Illustration/ Satish Acharya

Dear Diana,
I'm 19 years old. Last year, I found out my boyfriend was two-timing me with my best friend. I broke up with him and started seeing another guy, but now even he broke up with me. I am unable to trust men anymore and find myself being attracted to girls. I'm not sure if this is because of what happened to me or if it's just the way I am. Please help.

Deepika

Dear Deepika,
Well, here's the thing. If you feel confused, spend time by yourself. Meditate. It will come to you. It's not a crime to be attracted to another girl. But you have to know for sure if this is a knee-jerk reaction you're having or not. If you ask me, I feel you are really reacting to the hurt that two men caused you.

Is getting done in half an hour 'too soon'?

Dear Diana,
My wife refuses to have sex with me because whenever we do it, I am done "much too soon". Of course, her definition of "too soon" is half an hour, which I happen to think is a reasonably long period of time. What do you think?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
If the fire of passion exists in your relationship, what's half an hour... four hours might not seem enough. But if you treat sex as a chore and start seeing it in measurements, you're missing the point as is she. Always remember to keep your partner happy. Don't neglect her in bed.

Did the sex ruin what we had?

Dear Diana,
I've been dating a guy for a couple of months. Not sure what we are. I haven't seen him for two weeks now. We got together, had a fun movie/pizza night. One thing led to another and we slept together. I don't normally have sex unless I am in a committed relationship. Now I'm nervous that he won't want to hang out anymore. He isn't answering my messages. I'm curious; did the sex ruin it or make it complicated? I don't know if I'd want him as my BF but I DO enjoy his company and therefore still wanna hang with him, sex included.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Truth of the matter is, if he had to get back in touch with you, he would have already. But don't get so caught up here. He probably doesn't see the need to apprise you of everything he does, considering the two of you haven't really decided where this 'relationship' is going anyway. It doesn't seem that the sex ruined it, because there was never anything to ruin anyway. You don't have sex with a guy on the first date (as a principle), so it means you probably were taken in by him and let yourself go. Tell him that you'd simply like to enjoy his company more often (no strings attached; if that's what you want) and in no uncertain terms, if that's what you're looking for.

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