08 March,2010 11:02 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
Tonight was my boyfriend's birthday, so I went out. I told my parents I would be home by midnight, not knowing if that would happen or not. My boyfriend knows my parents are strict too, and that I had to be home. So, I'm at the party and it's one o'clock.
My boyfriend was drinking and having fun, so I didn't want to ask him to take me home, because I felt bad for him. My mom called screaming and saying how unreliable and disrespectful he was for not respecting my curfew. He thinks they treat me unfairly, I'm 21 and live at home. I don't know what to do! They hate my boyfriend and this makes me sad! Who is at fault here?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
You might be 21 but as long as you live, you are going to remain their little girl. Besides, you're still living under their roof and are answerable to them. If you said you'd be home at a given time, you ought to have just taken a cab or called your parents to tell them you'd be late. I think that your boyfriend was unreliable and irresponsible because he knew you had to get home somehow and should have arranged for it.
You were irresponsible in not letting your parents know where you were, that you were safe and that you'd be home soon. That reassurance would have gone a long way in allaying their fears. And you know they are strict because they love you. When you have children your age, you'll know how they felt.u00a0
We can't do without daily sex
Dear Diana,
I am a 21-year-old gal. I have a boyfriend. We have been living together for eight months now. We have safe sex daily. Will something go wrong with me if we have sex daily? We can't do without daily sex.
Stacia
Dear Stacia,
If you're having safe sex (by that definition, I assume you mean your guy uses a condom) and you're asking if something could go wrong do you mean an unwanted pregnancy, an STD, general infections or general pain? I think if you abstain often, you'll enjoy it more when you do have sex.u00a0
Cheated on him once. Still paying the price
Dear Diana,
I love my boyfrend but he is over protective. He thinks everywhere I go, I am going to cheat on him. However he once found out that I cheated on him and now things are complicated because I don't do what I want to. I love him and try to satisfy him by staying at home at all times during my free hours. I just don't know what to do to gain his trust again. Please help me out.
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
There is no easy solution or quick fix. Why did you cheat in the first place? Have those issues been resolved, or at least discussed with your boyfriend? Does he know why it happened? If you are sorry and would like to carry on being with your boyfriend, I think the best thing you can do is reassure him of how you feel, and that you made a mistake but would like things to get better between you.
He may always remain distrustful of you. Or hopefully, you may both be able to put it behind you and move on. I understand you staying at home to try and keep him happy, but that isn't a practical solution. This may take time, but hopefully, if you give him no reason to think otherwise, he may start to trust you again.
