I am 29 years old. Four years ago, my girlfriend dumped me.
|
Illustration/ Satish Acharya |
Dear Diana,I am 29 years old. Four years ago, my girlfriend dumped me. She and I had been together since our early teens. We always said that we were destined to be with each other and once I get a proper job, we would get married. Even our families considered it as understood. Once I had got settled in my job, I proposed to her. But she refused. She said she felt she was not ready for a commitment and was too young to settle down with one guy (she is one year younger than me.) I was shocked and we did not stay in touch any more. I even heard she had moved to another city. A few weeks back, she came back into my life and said she loved me. She said she wants to give our relationship another go but won't pressurise me into it if I had changed my mind. I don't know what to do. I still love her and have always loved her even in the four years she was away. But I don't know if I can trust that she will stay with me and won't leave me again. What do I do?
Harish
Dear Harish,Considering you guys had been going strong for a long time, it's only fair for you to give the girl another chance. What happens sometimes is that when faced with a life-long commitment, a person tends to go into withdrawal mode. It is a scary moment when you have to make a choice about your life partner and no matter how right that guy seems to you, you might react in a way you never anticipated. I am guessing this is what happened to your girl, and now that she is back, you should let go and take it forward. It will be natural for you to be cautious and insecure, but don't let it keep you from real happiness, especially because you say this was meant to be destined. Look at in a positive lightu00a0 --that some things are just meant to happen. And think of the happier times you guys had spent. In short, give her another chance.
Nervous about wedding night... Dear Diana,My parents fixed my marriage with this really great guy. I love him and want to be with him, but I am scared of the wedding night. I have read about consummation, but never done it before and I don't know what to do.
Meenakshi
Dear Meenakshi,Wedding night sex is special and it's perfectly normal to be nervous about it. And that holds even if this was not your first time. Since you are really in love with him, your nerves will fade away when the time comes. Just relax and focus on how lucky you are that you've got a great guy.
How do I get a guy?Dear Diana,I am 28 years old. I have always been good at my studies and now am one of the best performers at work. I have family and friends who love me for who I am, which they define as being smart, intelligent, caring, honest, etc. But I still feel lonely at times. I have never been in a relationship (or even dated), as for some reason, guys just don't look at me that way. I am not ugly looking, though not a classic beauty. I want to find a guy --and not just any guy, but a great one --who'll fill the hole in my life, but I don't know how to go about it.
Pratichee
Dear Pratichee,Guys go for looks, yes, but they actually look for the very qualities you've described. So it's surprising that you've not even been asked out for a date yet. Just go out and mingle with other singles out there. You could tryu00a0 speed dating or if your friends are interested, they could set you up with some one else they know. Be confident and don't lose heart if you don't click with the first few guys. And don't go out with a guy just so you can say you are in a relationship. And remember --you are a great girl and if a guy can't see that, it's his loss. Good luck.