Not a couple yet. Should I be feeling guilty?

Dear Diana,
I have been seeing this guy for the past two months, but we are not dating yet. We talk every day and hang out once or twice a week. We have talked about where the relationship is headed and we both know that we will probably start dating in about a month or so. He just got out of a relationship right before he started seeing me and is extremely busy right now with everything.

Earlier this week, I ended up sleeping with someone else. It was someone I know from work, so it wasn't someone random but I do not have feelings for him. I feel extremely guilty for it and cannot stop thinking about it because I have never even just slept with someone random like that, but I do not plan on telling the first guy because we aren't committed or dating at the moment. I guess my question is, how guilty should I be feeling and am I feeling more guilty than I should?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Well since you're not technically dating, it's not technically cheating. I'd worry more about a guy who dates you for two months without any kind of commitment. It's good he gives a timeframe, but better would be if he wanted to actually commit. Seeing as he's been in no rush to be in a relationship, there's really no rush to feel guilty about sleeping with someone else.

If he wanted you to be exclusive, he would have been by now. As you said, technically you are available. Some could see it as misleading, but you know what it is. That's how life is. You asked if you should feel guilty for your behavior and I should think you'd already have the answer to that. Whether you tell your boyfriend or not, you should know in your own heart if it was wrong and why it was wrong.

He got rid of his porn before I asked him to

Dear Diana,
I am aware that when a girl tells a guy she wants him to get rid of his porn, he usually hides it. In my case, I never told him how I felt about it, the topic was never brought up, but he claims he got rid of it on his own because he only has eyes for me. Anyway, should I believe him?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
Don't over-analyse. He told you that to make you happy and gain a bit more of your trust, not to make you think too much about it and question it. Whether he completely got rid of it or just put it away, I would say he probably isn't looking at it much anymore and I wouldn't worry too much about it.

Go for an STD test, nevertheless?

Dear Diana,
I had sex for the first time in October last year and haven't had sex since then. My guy had many sex partners before me. We used a condom, but I was wondering if I should ask for an STD screening when I have a checkup this week with my doctor? I haven't had any symptoms or anything, but could I have caught something and not know it even with protection?

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
You should always include STDs in your routine medical check. Because sex isn't the only way you can catch one. And it's always better to find out sooner than later. Also, using a condom minimises the chances of contracting an STD, it doesn't offer 100% protection. You may very well not have anything but at least you'll know for sure. If your guy has had several sex partners in the past, it's best to be safe rather than sorry.

u00a0