It's all been sorted out now, but is it all for the best?

diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012

Dear Diana,

Illustration/Satish Acharya

My 16-year-old niece recently ran away from her house. She is from Delhi. We started searching and at last came to know about the boy.

I immediately called him up and told him to bring the girl to us in. Later on, I came to know that they were in touch and my niece had not disclosed the fact that she is just 16 and is appearing for her Std 10 exams and lied to the boy that she is 18u00a0 and is doing an engineering course.

They were in touch in phone and the man himself arranged for a train ticket and called her to his place. Now after they came to my home, I found my niece to be quite confused and blaming the man for everything.

The family of my niece started puting pressure on the man to marry the girl and they are also blaming me for calling them to Mumbai. When I spoke to the boy, he said that he is ready to marry the girl two years later; we alsou00a0 found the girl wanted to.

The boy is honest but is also scared because a missing complaint is registered with the police. Both families have agreed to a marriage two years hence.

Although things seem sorted out, I'm somehow unhappy as the girl is as good as my own daughter. But what will happen in the long run? What should I do for peace of mind.

Kailash

Dear Kailash,

You tried doing everything you could to make the best of a bad situation, but what I find really stupid is to assume that things won't change in two years.

She's naive now and may have been carried away by the romanticism of it all. She may not be able to adjust to a married life even after two years.

If you're doing this just to protect your reputation and to make wagging tongues cease their wagging, I suggest you don't sacrifice her for her errors.

The guy may be good and all, but what is his fault in it all. He took your niece at her word and then suggested she elope. Though I really wonder why. Did they even bother talking it out with the parents?

How important is the age factor?

Dear Diana,

I am 22 and am deeply in love with a girl who six years older than I am. We understand, care for and love each other imensely.

We are planning to get married within the next couple of years. The 'age factor' however has been the source of a strong opposition among my parents and relatives.

I want to know, how important is this 'age factor'? If I do get married to her, will our married life be good socially, mentally, physically, etc?
u00a0
Amit Kumar

Dear Amit,

She's only six years older, for crying out loud!u00a0 What age factor are you talking about? Would the same parents make a fuss if you were six years older than a prospective bride? Would your married life be any different then?
u00a0
Socially, there is always going to be a mental block against such marriages, mentally it will only be a problem if the two of you aren't compatible, physically I don't foresee any problem, age-wise.

I want things to work between us...

Dear Diana,

I am the same person you advised on Feb 5 ('I think it's love... that way; Dear Diana). I have called him since and he spoke with me normally.

What I found strange was thatu00a0 in spite of chatting with him for such a long time and after calling him for two months, he couldn't even pronounce my name properly, but the way he spoke seems like he wants to know a lot of things about me.

He kept asking about my career and future plans and my feelings for him. I want things to go right and want things to be like before but I don't know how to go back. I miss him so much.

Valencia

Dear Valencia,

The 'problems' you cite are childish, sparkle of spark of naivete and show you to be a really poor judge of character.

How does it matter if he can't pronounce your name properly, if he doesn't even seem interested in you (and only is, because you're pursuing this).

Two people may share a connection through conversation, but beyond that, they may share no connection at all. Give that a thought. There should be mutual acceptance in a relationship for it to work.