Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
I shouted him away, but now I want him back!Dear Diana, |
| Illustration/ Satish Acharya |
My boyfriend and I are 17, and were together for 10 months. It was perfect, but then we started fighting a lot. It was generally his fault. He'd say the wrong things, and I would get hurt and break up with him, promising myself that I would leave him behind and find someone better. But then we always made up. We were on a break for a while but we came flying back to each other two days ago. We had broken up because we fought way too much and haven't had a "good day" in a long time. But now he says his love for me has faded. Iu00a0 think I pushed him away. I'd fight with him all the time and he used to keep reminding me that he loved me. I didn't trust him. And I finally did drive him away. I hurt him and now he is convinced that he doesn't love me anymore. I need to fix this, I just don't know how.
RaniDear Rani,This may not be what you want to hear, but I'll say it anyway. He genuinely doesn't love you anymore. For girls and boys of your age, that is natural. He didn't have the patience and the maturity to deal with a 'difficult' girlfriend, if I may call you that. I'm sure he was happy when you were together, but at his age he's got too much going on in his head to really have the will to put up with trouble in a relationship. I don't know if you can fix this. For now, be friendly, be supportive, but don't expect that he will come back to you. If anything you will drive him further away if you pursue him. As teenagers, we sometimes forget to look at the big picture. Maybe it's youth, maybe hormones... who knows? Give him time to make up his own mind and sort out his emotions. It can be hard to wait, but it's not your fault. Being young is just hard on the head. And it's been just three days. He may decide he misses you and want you back. My advice:u00a0 Hope for the best and prepare for the worst.
I want to marry him, but not now...Dear Diana,I am a 21-year-old girl. I have been dating this guy for seven months. We split up recently, but he met me and said he wants to marry me. I want to marry him too, but I want to wait for about two years. Does that sound insane?
FarahDear Farah,If you're asking, then you probably should wait for a while. This is not something you want to do in a hurry and regret later. Take your time with it and make it right the first time. Let your feelings settle, get to know your guy (and yourself) better, andu00a0u00a0 you will know the answer ...
Once betrayed, twice suspicousDear Diana,I have two problems... I was seeing this guy I loved very much for seven months. Then he broke up with me. He confessed he'd fallen for my cousin who is also my best friend. She claimed there is nothing going on but I now have my doubts. I'm heartbroken from the betrayal. Though my break up is very recent, there is this guy who likes me and now I am finding it hard to trust him. I don't know if it is because of what I have been through or because his girlfriend died in an accident just six months ago and he seems to already be moving on. What do you think?
Name withheld on requestDear Friend,You shouldn't judge a guy because of what another guy did. Just because your boyfriend betrayed you, doesn't mean all men are like that. As for the other guy moving on after the death of his girlfriend, who decides for how long one should mourn? And it isn't like he has proposed marriage to you. He's only said that he likes you and you should appreciate that he is being honest with you. Everyone needs companionship. Just because he has developed a fondness for you, doesn't mean he doesn't love or miss his departed girlfriend. Try being friends with him for now. You both need to give yourselves a chance to get over your sorrows, spend time together and learn to loveu00a0 again.
