01 October,2010 09:00 AM IST | | Dera Diana
Illustration/satish acharya
Dear Diana,
I caught my husband texting sweet nothings to an old flame a couple of weeks ago. When I questioned him he said he was sorry, but I am feeling betrayed. I am so upset because he'd also texted someone else 4 years ago and I'd been hurt and it took me a while to trust him again. But now I feel let down that he has done it again.
We have been married for 10 years and our marriage was wonderful before I found out. I asked him for some space a few days ago. Today I scheduled to meet him, but then cancelled.
I hate him even more. I feel he (and not me)should be doing all the chasing and trying to resolve this matter. His family seems sympathetic towards me but are making no effort to recolve this. I have a 14 year old son who isn't the best behaved child. I feel now he is trying to blame his affair on our problem child. What I should do?
Shalini
Dear Shalini,
How do you know this is the only time he has talked to her during your relationship? People don't normally just talk to old flames out of no where for no reason. He's probably being cheating on you all along. He is simply trying to take the heat off himself by dragging your son into this.
He wants an excuse to justify his own actions. It sounds like he is looking for a reason to get out of the relationship. And my guess is, he has shared this with his family, and they dont want to get involved. It's hard to end something that has gone on for so long but if he doesn't want to try to fix things then there is no reason for you stick around.
Also you shouldn't be mad at his family for standing up for him, his family and will always side with him. Your family would do the same for you. I'd say concentrate of getting your life together. No point being in a marriage where there is no love and trust. The more you prolong it, the more hurt you will end up.
I want to get rid of my paunch
Dear Diana,
I'm a 16-year-old girl and weight isn't an issue for me. My figure is normal, but I have this paunch that really bothers me.
I would like some advice on some things I can do to help slim my stomach to make me feel more confident! I don't need a "quick fix" just some advice on a topic I know very little about.
Valerie
Dear Valerie,
Ab exercises will tone the muscles under your belly but the fat will still be there. You can't target where you burn fat. If you start exercising you will start to burn calories from all over your body, including your belly. Look at your posture as well-- people who slouch and don't use their abs to sit up straight tend to have more of a belly.
He never admits it when he is wrong!
Dear Diana,
I am a 24-year-old woman who is married to a 27-year-old guy. We have been married for two years and now his behaviour has started bothering me. He never sees his own flaws, but yet he can always point out my flaws.
It's like he has to be right because he is the head of the household. There have been times whenu00a0 am sure he may have known that he was wrong, but he has too much pride to actually admit it. Is this normal, or are there some deep-rooted issues here that I should be worried about?
Nishi
Dear Nishi,
I don't know if there are some deep-rooted issues at play here, or you've simply married an egoistical and an arrogant man. The bad news is that I cannot tell you that he will change.u00a0 Such men rarely do, and he would appreciate you getting confrontational. Don't forget, admitting flaws is difficult for most men, and your man even seems to be an extreme case.
Seems like he also has communication issues -- he may be afraid to talk to you about his flaws because he is afraid you'll see him as less of a man. Also, flaws pointed out in a emotional state (when angry, hurt) makes people defensive. Start by gently bringing it up in a normal conversation, that may enable him to open up.
