31 May,2010 10:17 AM IST | | Diana
Dear Diana,
My husband is a monster in bed. And I really don't mean that in a good way. He's strong while I'm petite. He's dominant while I'm submissive. He demands that we make out and have sex in every kinky way possible. I guess we have tried just about anything humanly possible that a couple can, while spicing up things in bed.
I don't mind a roll in the sack, but don't I deserve a little attention too? He's done pretty soon and I'm left wanting. Most times I've had to masturbate to get myself to an orgasm. Also, I'm afraid he'll soon have burnout or get bored and ignore me completely.
He's been faithful to me this far. I get everything I want. He's a good provider. So I really can't complain, I guess, that he's ignoring me. I wouldn't want the 'honeymoon' to end, but can I really afford to shut up about this?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
Some believe that that the status quo a couple share in the bedroom is mirrored in their otherwise public life as well. Be a doormat once and you're forever going to be percieved and treated as one. While your husband may be good in bed and fulfil all his husbandly duties otherwise, he cannot ignore your feelings in all this either.
Also, anything is good in moderation. If you are going to be at it like jackrabbits, you most probably will have burnout as well and are going to end up frigid or bored or both and that's not a healthy option either. His faithfulness is not a matter of argument at this point.u00a0
My folks just don't get it!
Dear Diana,
I live in a joint family with my wife, my parents, a divorced aunt, an elder brother and his wife. I'm out all day and have hardly a clue about what goes on at home. My wife quit her job because of the long hours and we've been trying for a child. Trouble is, I hardly ever get a holiday and when I do, we never have a private moment to ourselves. We live in Mumbai. You might have a fair idea about how cramped things can get.
I'd like to go out for a vacation with my wife and have sex all day and night. Only trouble is, my folks start grumbling how I never want to go anywhere with the family. Don't they understand that the clock is ticking and we've got to "get to work" if we ever want to be parents? How do I make them understand this without ticking them off?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
You are going to have to speak your mind if you are to have any free time to yourselves. Being subtle won't help when it comes to your family members. You have desires and needs as does your wifeu00a0-- and those needs and desires have to be fulfilledu00a0-- and they cannot be ignored.
Marriage isn't simply about procreation, you know. A couple needs intimacy and passion in the bedroom for a marriage to survive emotional turmoil.u00a0 I suggest you put your foot down, do what you have to, to "get to work" and just do it. Don't worry about your parents might say.
I'm sure if you have a quiet word with them, they'll understand. Besides, it's not like they're your enemies. They have your best interests at heart and would want you to be happy. Don't compromise on your life just to keep your folks happy. It will have the opposite effect of what you're trying to attain.
