Her kabhi haan-kabhi naa has got me all confused...

Dear Diana,
I am 21. Two months ago, a girl proposed to me and I said yes. She told me that she had broken up with her boyfriend. I was fine with that. A few days later, her ex started calling her and she too responded. One day, she told me she cannot forget him as they had been intimate.

I told her it was fine and we agreed to stop calling each other.u00a0 But she called the next day and said that she didn't want to get back with her ex as he is a heavy smoker.

I accepted her again, but again her ex called and the same thing happened all over again. This cycle was repeated four to five times.Right now, he is not in touch with her and she even changed her number.

She told me her ex is not calling her now and asked when we will get married. I can't understand what's going on in her mind. I love her but I am confused whether she loves me or not.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
I don't think this girl loves you. And it shouldn't be ha'rd for you to figure this out out. She only sees you when she is off this other guy. He is the priority. She just chooses to be with you when he is not around. Had this happened just once, you could've overlooked it.

But it's a pattern and you would be foolish to still want to be with her. She seems to be into this guy completely and will dump you again when there is a chance to be with him again. Move on, and find someone stable.

Sirf rang pe naa jaao, apni akkal lagaao!

Dear Diana,
My friend, who has a dark complexion, recently rejected a marriage proposal from a guy because he has a dark complexion. The guy was not all that great anyway, but how do I tell my friend to not judge people by that criteria only, without offending her?

Seema

Dear Seema,
How do you know that the only reason she rejected the guy is because he was dark? It could be that she didn't think he was the right guy for her. If you want to tell your friend not to be shallow, tell her directly. Why think so much about it? Say that you found her to be superficial when she rejected a guy based on his colour.

Much hot air over balloons

Dear Diana,
I turned 26 a few weeks back. Like every year, my friends had decorated my room with nice, fancy balloons. When my boyfriend of six months saw this, he started laughing. He claimed I am too old for balloons. I really thought we had something serious going and I couldn't believe it when he said this.

I know it seems like a small thing and you probably agree with him, but I was really hurt. Should I just let it go or take it as a sign of more serious things to come?

Nirmala

Dear Nirmala,
He just passed a comment expressing his opinion on the matter. Don't think too much of it. What I'd like to know is, what did he do for your birthday? Did he make it special in a better way than your friends? It is a trivial thing to get yourself worried about.

If this behaviour of his (where he demerits the efforts put in by others on your b'day) continues, you would do best to tell him that you do not like it and would prefer that he kept his opinions to himself. No-one has the right to tell you how you ought to live your life.