Diana will solve it! Write to Diana at diana@mid-day.com, or fax her on 24150009. You can also post letters to Dear Diana, Mid Day, Peninsula Centre, Dr S S Rao Road, opp Mahatma Gandhi Hospital, Parel, Mumbai 400012
Dear Diana,I am 20 years old and this guy I was dating is nine years older than me. When he asked me out last December, I was waryu00a0 as I had heard horror stories about how he treats his girlfriends badly.
I confronted him about it. He said he knows what he did was wrong, but he was drinking at the time and it had turned him crazy.
He's given up drinking now. I believed him. So I started seeing him. He was the sweetest, most perfect boyfriend ever.
Then one day he broke it off, saying that his friends were teasing him about dating a 'schoolgirl'. Later I found out that he had started seeing this other girl that he had flirted with while we were going out.
He swears he didn't cheat on me. They'reu00a0 together, and now I hear that he's been telling other girls that he's interested in them. Was I totally blind in our relationship?
There's a chance he will ask me to come back. I know I'll say yes, as I still love him, even though I don't trust him.
If we were to go out again, how could I ensure his fidelity? I know I can change him. And I know he's a good person under all his faults.
Tina
Dear Tina,The only person who can help this guy is himself. And you can't change anyone. Just be happy that he is out of your life.
He has done one good thing in his life giving up alcohol (if he really has). But that doesn't mean he's now perfect.
He is still a womaniser. I think if he does ask you out again, you shouldn't see him. What good will it do to date a man who you don't trust?
Relationships are built around trust. No trust = no love. If you think he is a good person, just be friends with him for awhile. Revaluate the situation after a while and see if it is worth taking once again to the next level.
How do I tell her, I like her?
Dear Diana,How can I get a girl I like into a situation where I can tell her how I feel about her? And maybe even make a small move?
It's hard to do the at-her-door thing as she lives with her parents and I think it would be awkward and put her off.
Shishir
Dear Shishir,Take a walk outside with her, and tell her how you feel. See if she feels the same about you, or is open to the idea.
Don't make a move on her till you know how she feels. Also, don't take her into a secluded place, because it might freak her out and you will end up feeling like a rapist.
Looking for good, honest guys...
Dear Diana,I am 27. I got divorced last year. And now, for the last two months, I haveu00a0 started to date. Everyone from friends, family and neighbours are trying to fix me up with other divorced men.
But I think I am horrible at choosing a good, honest man. So far, I don't see a future with any of the few men I have gone on dinner dates with.
u00a0
I don't want a casual relationship. I've stopped falling for the kind of guys who hang around in a bar. I want a good, solid man. Are there any good old guys still out there? Where do I find him?
Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,I am sure there are many "good" guys of your age, but finding them is altogether another story.
u00a0
I think no matter what age you are, whether you are a teen, in your 20s, 30s up to your 80s or 90s it is always hard to find a good person.
u00a0
Have your heart set on the kind of guy you want to meet and don't settle for anybody lower. Just don't stop yourself from looking closer at divorced men, because they are divorced.
Your guy may be among them too. You will find someone else when the time comes. Just keep looking and in the meantime, enjoy your life.
