27 September,2010 06:50 AM IST | | Dear Diana
Dear Diana,
I am 26 years old, and in love with my best friend for years. However, he never realised it. When my parents started looking for a guy for me, I finally mustered the courage and went and told him how I felt about him.
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He admitted that he has some feelings for me too, but is confused about whether he loves me as more than a friend. We decided we'll go out a few times and see how it goes.
Over the next couple of months, we started unofficially dating. I could sense that he was not that into me, the way I was.
When I faced him with the fact, he insisted that was not the case and reiterated that we can be more than friends.
Then one day, without telling me, he told my parents about one of his friends who he felt would be perfectly suited for me.
My parents met this guy and now want me to get married to him. I am shocked that my best friend led me on in this way. I still have feelings for him and am not ready to marry someone else. What do I do?
Reena
Dear Reena,
You are right, he did lead you on when he had no right to do so. He should have spoken to you about his feelings, your feelings, before he brought a proposal from someone else to your parents. He was wrong in what he did and howu00a0 he went about it.
This is bound to strain your relationship. I would advise that you keep him at a distance from now on. What he did is unforgivable, but it shows he is not interested in being more than friends with you. So it's time you moved on.
Maybe this new guy is the right one for you, maybe not, but you should be the one who makes the decision. Don't welcome him or condemn him just because of the way he came into your life.
Meet him the way you would meet any other guy your parents wanted you to meet and judge him for who he is. You've been hurt. Take your time to heal and don't let anyone force you into a decision.
I feel shy around girls
Dear Diana,
I am an 18-year-old boy. Whenever I talk to girls, I feel uncomfortable. I thought initially it was because I came from an all boys school. But even after two years in college, I still have that feeling. It is now proving embarrassing for me. What do I do?
Tarun
Dear Tarun,
You have to make a conscious effort to shed your inhibitions only then will you feel comfortable. Look at boys of your age and see how they feel confident. There is no need to feel shy. Just be yourself and don't put on airs. There is nothing to fear. Next time strike a conversation about your studies and classes. The rest will flow automatcally.
My guy says I annoy him
Dear Diana,
Everything was fine for me and my guy all this while. Two months ago he told me he that I annoy him and irritate him with my behaviour. I didn't know that being emotional and paranoid could ruin our relationship. We are still together but it is not the same as before. What do I do?
XYZ
Dear Friend,
He has been honest and told you what he feels. Maybe you went overboard with your emotional upheavals and paranoia. It is not too late to correct the situation. Tell him you will try and not be overbearing and go emotional at the drop of a hat. Work on the relationship again. But also try explaining to him that this is the way you are and to accept it just as the way you have accepted him.
