Boyfriend's been spreading rumours about me!

I've recently dumped my boyfriend. I was with him for three months and have come to realise that he's a bit of a bully and that is something I don't want

Dear Diana,
I've recently dumped my boyfriend. I was with him for three months and have come to realise that he's a bit of a bully and that is something I don't want.



He's been spreading rumours that he's fondled and touched me down there. Everyone is pretty shocked and a lot of people have lost respect for me. He's been spreading other sexual rumours too and all this makes me feel highly uncomfortable. Is there anything I can do apart from ignoring him? I just want something done about itquickly.

Name withheld

Dear Friend,
If these people you mention have "lost respect" for you based on the say-so of a guy you went out with for three-odd months, they obviously never respected you in the first place and probably, are more tuned in for the gossip rather than anything else.

If they are shocked, it's probably because this guy is badmouthing you in plain view. And unless you knock some sense into him, he's not going to stop. How you go about it, is entirely your call. The only way to stop a bully is by bullying him and giving him a taste of his own medicine.

How do I do it right?

Dear Diana,
I lost my virginity when I was 19, but it was not a very good experience (I barely lasted five minutes). Since then, it's been a big blank. My concern is that I'm clumsy and will never be able to do it well enough for my partner (when I have one). Would taking advice from a sex worker be a bad idea? Is the Internet a good source of tips? Nothing seems to help me boost my confidence.

Abhishek

Dear Abhishek,
Just because your first time wasn't perfect doesn't mean the next few hits in the sack will be as bad. The more you worry about the act itself, the more miserable you will get.

Telling yourself that you are lesser than you are is harmful. A sex worker wouldn't be equipped to give you the advice you seek. The internet is only helpful as long as you are looking for something specific. I'd say just go with the flow when the next opportunity presents itself.

Tell mom of dad's infidelity?

Dear Diana,
I am a 17-year-old guy. I recently discovered that my father is having an affair with my best friend's mother and that they regularly text each other. But he's the ideal husband around my mom. I don't know how to break the news to her (should I?). She is a simple housewife and I know she will separate from my dad should she learn of this. I thought I'd speak to my best friend first, but couldn't muster the courage.

Me

Dear Friend,
There might be several compromises your mom may have made during this marriage to your father. Some of them may have been solely for your sake.

That said, you have to be completely sure of the extent of the revelation you are going to make to your mother. Do you know that your father is having an affair as absolute irrefutable fact? Should you have even an iota of doubt, keep your lips sealed. If you are sure, go ahead and tell her. Should she later learn that you knew and kept it from her, nothing will hurt her more.