18 November,2009 11:48 AM IST | | Diana
Am in love with my boss and it is affecting my work Illustration/ Sameer Pawar
Dear Diana,
I am 24 and am employed in a good firm. For the past two months, I have been in love with my boss. She is five years older than me and is married. She yells at me at work and does not appreciate me, but I still love her. She never accepts any of my ideas, but I still think about her every minute and fantasise how it will be when we make love. Somehow, I feel she picks on me so much because she feels guilty she has feelings for me. I also don't think she loves her husband, as she works very late every day. I dream so much about her, my work is getting affected. My friends tell me I should get over her, but I don't want to. How do I approach her?
Name withheld on request
Dear Friend,
It is easy enough to assume that you're in love with your boss. Of course, you could be mistaking/confusing feelings of awe and admiration with feelings of love. Some people have an infatuation with people in a position of power and authority and this could be the case with you. Don't be under the impression that she loves you unless she explicitly tells you just that. Don't assume anything just because it appears that way. Also, if it affects your work, ity's best that you stop dreaming about her. It might never work out for one, and you might lose your job for very practical reasons.
Looks or bedworthiness?
Dear Diana,
Who should I choose: an average looking guy who I can have earth-shattering great sex with or the kind of a guy who girls throw themselves at but is no great shakes in bed?
Name withheld
Dear Friend,
What matters to you more: His proficiency in bed or his good looks? You could simply opt for one over the other. Food for thought: do you really want to listen to the gorgeous guy go on and on about the women he's been with or whom he has left to be with you? It's quite an obvious choice.
He cheated on me but I still wanna be with him!
Dear Diana,
I have been with my boyfriend for a year but a few days ago, two girls came to me and told me they had been sleeping with him. I truly love him and don't doubt how he feels for me but I just can't believe he has done this to me.We had been arguing a lot but I thought we were getting on, of late. He later revealed that while he had slept with both on separate occasions, he had mentioned that it would be a one-night stand and that he really loved me. He said they wanted revenge and that is why they told me. I still love him so much and as strange as it sounds, still want to be with him. He says it was a mistake and that he doesn't wanna lose me.
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Name withheld
Dear Friend,
He has admitted to cheating. And what's worse, it isn't a one-off thing. No, I don't believe he'll change. The way he has behaved, is appalling. In stead of trying to patch things up with the girl he "loves" he uses your fights as an excuse to go and sleep with other girls? Disgusting. So what if he has stopped having sex with these girls? Just wait until your next fight, he'll find someone else to use. Do you really want to be with such a guy. His "love" for you is rubbish. If he loved you, he would work on making your relationship better when you fight rather than going off with someone else. Unfortunately, it sounds like he's using youu00a0 while he goes off and acts single. Don't put yourself through the agony of trying to forgive and forget because you'll never forget.