How parents of children with special needs can deal with bullies

Every year, World Mental Health Day is celebrated on October 10. It is a part of the larger idea to raise awareness about mental health in the month which is also celebrated as World Mental Health Month 2022 by the United Nations. After the Covid-19 pandemic, the focus around mental health has received a much-needed thrust because many people spent their time indoors with and without family, and given the nature of the Coronavirus, it did take a toll on many.

At the ground level, one often talks about the subject with respect to adults but one mustn't forget that the conversation doesn't end there and in fact starts when most of us are children. In the second part of this month, we delve into bullying. When talking about bullying in children, it is important to note the kind of effect it can have on children with special needs. These include children with learning, speech, physical, mental or behavioural difficulties.
Causes and prevention

While bullying occurs in children in general, Dr Sonal Anand, psychiatrist, Wockhardt Hospitals, Mira Road, says bullying is more likely to occur in kids who have impairments, such as those that are physical, developmental, intellectual, emotional, or sensory-related. "Physical vulnerability, difficulties with social skills, or hostile situations are just a few of the variables that might raise the risk. According to research, some kids with impairments could also bully other kids," she explains. Bullying is no more limited to occurring in person but in fact happens freely online too and can have long-lasting emotional impacts. It can involve exposing children to their irritants or making fun of them for having issues, and may prove to be fatal too.

So, it is only fair when Shiny Shrivastava, consultant psychologist, Bhatia Hospital says special considerations are needed when addressing bullying in children with special needs. She explains, "Schools need to have in place Individualised Education Programs (IEPs) that are useful in creating specialised approaches for preventing and responding to bullying." The IEP, says Anand, can be used as an effective tool, especially because bullying among children with special needs could hamper their Free Access to Public Education (FAPE).

Peers, teachers and management
However, the solution isn't only limited to academic policy but one that has a practical approach. The absence of peer support due to proper lack of understanding also puts children with special needs at a higher risk. Shrivastava explains, "It is difficult for this group to have and maintain friends who will have their backs and help in preventing and protecting against bullying. Peer support makes a difference." At such times, Anand adds, that it is important for the child's peers to stand up for them. "Peer advocacy, or students speaking up for one another, is a special strategy that gives students the capacity to defend people who are the targets of bullying," she shares.

Peer advocacy, she says, is effective for two causes. "First off, kids have a tremendous effect because they are more likely than adults to observe what is occurring among their classmates. Second, a student has considerably more influence than an authority when advising someone to quit bullying."

While talking about creating an environment for them to thrive with the help of their peers is necessary, the active presence of all the different stakeholders is also important for them to be fully encouraged. Shrivastava explains, "Training of teachers to the specific needs of the child so that individualised strategies and support can be developed to help them participate and succeed in class along with their peers and help them build meaningful relationships with each other."

Even as Shrivastava reminds that The Right to Education Act (RTE) includes having zero tolerance against discrimination and harassment, she says, "Knowledge of the legal technicalities may offer hope to parents of children with special needs facing bullying and harassment by accessing legal protections." However, the city-based psychologist at Bhatia Hospital says before bullying reaches such a crisis point, parents, teachers and the school administration can collaborate to work together to prevent bullying and stop it at early stages.

She lists some of the ways it can be done. These include noticing signs of withdrawal and anxiety in the child, and then working with the school administration to help address the issue at early stages. "Being proactive about school's anti-bullying policies and provisions, addressing concerns at Parent Teacher Meetings (PTM) meetings or IEP meetings, maintaining records of past incidents over and above noticing the general changes in behaviour and attitude of the child can be an effective strategy for parents," Shrivastava says.

Timely intervention may help parents, teachers and the management to prevent the child from being affected by the act itself because everybody deserves their chance at being educated. "Numerous children with impairments are already dealing with particular difficulties at school. Bullying can have a negative effect on a person's capacity to learn and develop. According to research, bullying can hinder a child's ability to access school and result in avoiding school and having greater absence rates, reduced grades, inability to pay attention, decline in motivation for academic accomplishment and a rise in the dropout rate," adds Anand.

How parents can deal with the situation
Apart from knowing about legal technicalities, at the parental level, the two experts say they have to find their own way to approach children when talking about bullying. These conversations may be tough and will not only come with inquiries from the children, but the former will also have the responsibility of listening to them without passing judgement, so that the children feel secure, and then decide on the next course of action.

Anand explains, "Some kids find it simpler to talk to adults about personal issues and could be open to discussing bullying, others could be reluctant to divulge information regarding the circumstance. The kid who is bullying them may have warned them not to tell, or they may believe that notifying someone would only make things worse." They can start by spreading knowledge about bullying to take the first step in stopping it with the help of schools and other social surroundings. "Disseminate information to stop bullying. This will assist in saving a life as well as a loved one, a friend, and other people," the city-based psychiatrist cautions.

Even as parents are helping create awareness about bullying and its effects, at a more personal level, self-advocacy by the child who is being bullied, can go a long way, even if it seems like an uphill task.

"Be a voice for yourself, describing your abilities, obstacles, requirements, and goals, accept accountability for your actions, recognise your legal rights, get assistance or know who to approach for advice if you need it," suggests Anand.

Last but not the least, choosing how to respond to bullying should involve the individual who has been bullied. This involvement, she says, may provide children with a sense of control over their circumstances, assist them in finding someone who will listen to them, act on their behalf, and reassure them that their thoughts and opinions matter.

Also Read: Does your mental health take a hit after experiencing failure? Experts share tips to deal with it