What is ‘languishing’? Mumbai experts break down that ‘empty’ feeling with which many are struggling

The photo is for representational purpose only

During her recent interactions with people from different walks of life - school principals to small retailers - Salma Prabhu, a Mumbai-based clinical psychologist, has come across very similar expressions from all of them. "Almost everyone talks about this feeling, that 'something is not right', 'God knows when this will get over', 'I feel so stuck', 'I feel like we are in a cage', 'I feel scared'. These are expressed by people from all strata of society," she says. This feeling now has a label - "languishing".

A few days ago, author and organizational psychologist at Wharton, Adam Grant wrote an article for The New York Times titled: 'There's a Name for the Blah You're Feeling: It's Called Languishing.' Since then the article has been widely shared and talked about on social media. In the article Grant mentions that the term was coined by sociologist Corey Keyes, who found that many people who weren't depressed also weren't thriving. "His research suggests that the people most likely to experience major depression and anxiety disorders in the next decade aren't the ones with those symptoms today. They're the people who are languishing right now," mentions Grant.

To get a better understanding of the term and what could be possibly done if someone feels like that, Mid-Day.com spoke to three Mumbai-based experts.

What is languishing?

According to Prabhu, "Mental health, generally, with its diagnostic manuals categorizes one either in depression or being mentally fit. However the person who is not depressed, but still is not feeling 100% is actually experiencing ‘languish'--which is a feeling of void, of incompleteness, of something is not alright all the time."

Salma Prabhu/Pic: Shashi Patil

She feels it is the correct word to describe the situation experienced by most around the world. People are basically going on with their lives and activities, but deep within them they are hurting and that makes them realise that everything is not fine.

Mindset coach Erica de Souza thinks the best way to describe this state is "when you struggle to articulate it. You can't really call yourself depressed, clinically or otherwise, but your life doesn't exactly feel resonant and alive." She says the conversations she had with her friends and clients, they have described it to her as "being in a funk" and asking the question "what's the point of effort?" in the context of work, relationships and lifestyle habits.

What are the indicators of languishing?

With the ongoing pandemic, most people seem to be exhausted mentally. While everyone is trying their best to pull through, it can be difficult sometimes. So, are there particular signs that indicate that someone is languishing? Arti Shroff, psychologist and counsellor, says, "Some indicators of languishing are - being disinterested in activities, feeling a sense of loss of time while engaging in an activity, not being able to derive pleasure out of an activity - it's like having your favorite dish in front of you, eating it but not being able to taste it or enjoy it as you would have earlier."

Arti Shroff

Prabhu explains that it can range from waking up with a feeling of being lost or saying to oneself "Yet another day", and doing daily tasks without a lot of enthusiasm or with the feeling that nothing is happening at normal pace. It can also mean completing all the work but not feeling good about it. "Everyone is grappling with many issues, but in the current scenario, one can feel they are languishing when they speak about feeling empty or feeling emotionally drained which leads also to being physically drained," she adds.

Is languishing restricted to the pandemic?

The ongoing pandemic has taken a toll on everyone. Some people have been working from home for more than a year now. While the hope is alive that we will get over this crisis soon, will the feeling of languishing still be present?

As per de Souza, languishing goes beyond the pandemic. She says, "The reason it felt so familiar was because I have personally experienced this state and have worked with many battling this state in their lives, to develop coping mechanisms to deal with this. It has been given a name now, perhaps, because many of us, unlike our parents, haven't faced life altering changes and calamity in circumstances so quickly and have been taken off guard."

Erica de Souza

Prabhu concurs that the concept is not restricted to the pandemic; a lot of people do experience it every now and then. However, due to the pandemic it is being experienced by many more who were "on the borderline of flourishing and languishing". She says, "Even the most energetic, enthusiastic and optimistic individuals have got affected due to one or the other side effects of the pandemic."

What can be done in a situation like this?

De Souza thinks a very crucial first step in such a situation is to acknowledge what one is feeling. This simple acknowledgment might help one take their first steps towards discovering what they do not want to feel like that anymore, and in turn help them articulate what they choose to feel going forward. "Many who feel this way right now have responsibilities to show up for their families and community members who have neither ability to cope with their circumstances that require us to move past our sense of languishing," she says. A lot of people tend to jump this step and go straight for taking action, but de Souza says that isn't the right way. The action you take won't last long unless you go through this step.

Agreeing with de Souza, Prabhu also stresses on the fact that acceptance of what you feel, either scared or stuck, is extremely important. She suggests keeping a record of your feelings, which will help you increase your activities and motivation slowly. "When you notice that you have a huge gap in what needs to be done and what you are doing, increase your work step by step daily and do not take a huge jump," says Prabhu.

Meditation may help in this situation if one makes an effort to practice for at least 10 minutes every day. Prabhu even suggests seeking group therapy. "Group therapy helps you to understand you are not alone and also other people sharing their feelings and how they are coping gives a lot of hope," she says.
Shroff advises to have a structured time table - a schedule for your daily activities - this will prevent you from feeling lost and being consumed by ‘emptiness'. "It will put you back in charge of your life where you gain a sense of purpose and control towards your life," she says.