10 October,2020 12:58 PM IST | Mumbai | Partnered Content
Habiba kudrati
Meet Aaliya!
Aaliya is a successful and well put together young lady. Her dreams, aspirations and inner life embodies the modern Indian woman. As she grew up, she was taught to be nice - unconditionally accepting others, being sensitive to the needs of others, being empathetic, being kind.
Today, she is a wonderful person who everyone wants to be with. She exudes warmth and nurturance. She gives her time and energy selflessly. Everyone loves Aaliya!
Inside, she is an emotional wreck!
You see, when she was growing up, she was taught to be kind. Only not to herself. In fact, she was told that thinking about herself, her own dreams and aspirations was a selfish thing to do. Her models at home, the voices around her, elevated sacrifice and self-effacement. And smothered that little voice that loved itself.
"I would like to do my own thing today, if you don't mind!" said the little Aaliya bravely.
'SELFISH GIRL! RUDE CHILD! NO VALUES! NO ONE WILL LOVE YOU!' - voices chorused in outrage!
And so Aaliya's beautiful inner voice turned on itself - screeching recriminations, piling on the guilt and self-doubt.
And here she is today - a self-sabotaging individual who critically evaluates her every move. She discounts her victories and kills a little part of her self-worth with every failure.
One day, as Aaliya was getting ready, looking into the mirror, her reflection spoke:
Mirror: Have you ever thought of how I feel? What I want? My needs, my preferences, my dreams, my aspirations?
Aaliya: ELFISH MEAN DEMANDING PERSON!
Mirror: Stop! For too long you have allowed those harsh, judgemental, moralistic voices to reside inside you! I feel suffocated! I want to break free! I hate being with you!
There it was - the small brave fluttering voice, reconnecting Aaliya to her own needs, making her stop and think about herself for a change. Does Aaliya's story resonate with you? What does your mirror tell you? Do you let that inner voice have a say, or does its music drown in the cacophony of external expectations and pressures?
Give that voice a chance. Assess your emotions regularly, go talk to the mirror and see what it has to say.
You may fool the whole world, down the pathway of years
And get pats on the back as you pass.
But the final reward will be heartache and tears,
If you have cheated the person in the glass.
Heal Helping Lives
Habiba Kudrati
Counselling psychologist
Email: HabibaKudrati@gmail.com
Website: www.healinghelpinglives.com
Instagram: Healhelpinglives
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