Want to stop friend from asking me out

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

I have a feeling one of my closest friends wants to ask me out on a date, and I don't know how I feel about this. I like him, and we have been friends for a long time, but I have never had romantic feelings about him until I began noticing him staring at me a lot. I don't know how I should react if he eventually asks me out, because I will still be very surprised. Should I just nip this in the bud and avoid him for a while until this cools down?

Running away from something doesn't really eliminate a situation; it merely prolongs it. If you think your friend likes you, and wants to ask you out, why not agree to meet him and hear him out? It sounds as if you're not sure about where this is going either, so why repress how you are feeling until you get a chance to discuss this openly like adults? If you dislike him and can't imagine ever being anything other than friends with him, it will also give you a chance to tell him this at the start and avoid any awkwardness in the future. If he is a friend, he deserves an honest response rather than you avoiding any sort of confrontation.

My boyfriend is very jealous of my ex-boyfriend and made me promise never to be in touch with him. I did promise, but I am still friends with my ex because I like being friends with him. Is this wrong?

Your boyfriend may have his reasons for trying to control who you can and cannot be friends with, but he doesn't own you. You aren't being disloyal to him by maintaining a friendship, and it may be easier for you to come clean and tell him why being in touch with your ex matters to you. Hiding it from him is hardly the sign of a healthy relationship. He may not understand where you're coming from, but you should try and explain.

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