Despite our best attempts when a situation does not improve, we would be wiser to invest our time and talents in a new manner and a new place, writes Deepa Dumblekar
Despite our best attempts when a situation does not improve, we would be wiser to invest our time and talents in a new manner and a new place, writes Deepa Dumblekaru00a0
I have often wondered on the purpose of proverbs. Each proverb lends itself to different interpretations depending on our perception and how much we dwell on it. The longer we ponder, the more interesting are the meanings that emerge.u00a0
In fact, the word proverb itself loosely translates to 'for action'. In this sense, most proverbs encourage action.
Take for instance 'Time and tide wait for none', which advocates using time sensibly for it neither waits for anyone nor can be regained once lost, or 'looks are deceptive' which warns against judging on the basis of looks because they may be misleading.
One such meaningful proverb is 'Grapes are sour', which is actually taken from a tale wherein a fox eyes a bunch of grapes high above and tries hard to reach them. When desperate attempts prove futile, the fox turns away disappointed but not one to accept defeat, claims that the grapes are sour implying they were anyway not worth eating.u00a0
As much as the fox seems arrogant in not being able to admit his weakness and blaming the grapes, I guess the tale points us to a novel lesson that of accepting the situation and moving forward. The fox jumps quite a few times to reach the grapes and they are just not accessible to him. Yet the fox just consoles himself that the grapes must be sour and moves on for something else, perhaps better.u00a0
When we got a new carom board, both my mother in her late seventies and my daughter in primary school were at it for hours together. The game brought two generations with a huge age gap of about seven decades together. There were no unnecessary formalities no undue sympathy towards the kid or respect for the senior citizen. Only some fringe privileges were mutually agreed upon right in the beginning there would be no compulsion for a person taking the red coin to take another coin, thumbing was freely permitted, and there would be no penalty for putting the striker into a hole.u00a0
Game after game, it was my mother who won with the sheer strength of experience for she had played this game all her life as compared to my daughter who was doing so for the first time. The little fingers could definitely do with more practice. Both my mother and I set about pacifying the little one, just so that she would take the whole thing sportingly and continue putting in her best. Suddenly, out of nowhere, my daughter came up with a suggestion. She asked if she could change places with her grandmother, claiming that the change of place would definitely make her win.u00a0
That was an eye-opener to me. The little one did not chide the old lady, 'You are experienced, so you can plan well'. Nor did she blame herself for losing. She just suggested change of place thinking that would probably help her win the game.
Being a staunch advocate of positive thinking, I believe we can go forward only when we take the responsibility of where we are currently and then take the necessary steps to move ahead. This is essential to take stock of our strengths and capabilities with the intention of enhancing them. Yet, there are times when we tend to be extremely critical of ourselves and our (in)capabilities, so much so that we end up frustrated, which leaves no room for growing further. This is highly undesirable.
The fox most certainly understood that he was not tall enough to reach the grapes, which is why he walked away. All the same, he convinces himself saying that the situation was not worth breaking his head over or wasting his energies over and goes ahead looking for other opportunities, which is noteworthy.
Students lose their sleep and at times life too, when they are unable to get into their chosen stream of education or desired career. Still, there are any number of people who do exceedingly well in some place else because they chose to move away from sour grapes and find good ones. Depression and suicides are not the answer, moving away towards better options definitely is.
Thus, while the onus is on us to play an active role in whatever we desire to achieve or accomplish, when despite our best attempts a situation does not improve or change, we would be wiser to invest our time, talents and other resources in a new manner and if necessary a new place. Then we are bound to succeed for, as another well-known proverb says, 'God helps those who help themselves.'
