Mumbai hosts clannish Kitties

Once the sole domain of bored housewives, the kitty party gets a 21st Century makeover, with men tagging along. Couple kitties, tarot kitties, sikh-only kitties and pot-luck kitties are just a few from a whole list that decide if you can join based on your socio-eco-religious and marital profile

If you thought the Kitty Party was no more than an avenue to whisper about Mrs Gupta from the fifth floor's spontaneous bout of PDA in the elevator with the TDH man from the building next door, or to discuss the local darzi who can make you a bespoke saree for under Rs 5,000, you are so last season. The classic get-together is being given a modern twist by Mumbai's hip bahus and sasumas, making the modest community gathering an exclusive event that you can find entry to if you match the member profile. So, a Couple Kitty tends to leave out singletons, while a Sikh Kitty finds following only among Sardar and Punjabi couples in the city.

The guys tag along too
The latest trend, some of these young women tell you, is for men to tag along for what was once a women-only ritual. Thirty three-year old Dimple Marwaha doesn't head out for her weekly kitty without taking along husband Bobby. Her kitty may have opened doors for the pati brigade, but it's off limits for singletons. Dimple attends a Couples Kitty in her Khar neighbourhood, and gushes about it being a convenient way for couples to hang out and talk what else, but couple talk. "Life in this city is hectic, and it's impossible to meet up with friends unless there is an occasion. Now, we don't need one. The kitty is a monthly ritual," she smiles.

Friendship to match social standing
The kitty of ten-odd couples includes individuals belonging to the same age group, leaving them with common interests and a higher comfort level. The venue is usually a swanky lounge, with each couple dishing out between Rs 2,000 and Rs 5,000, making sure the winning couple walks away with somewhere close to Rs 50,000. The only hitch they have to organise the next kitty. "I can't think of a better way to socialise with people from your economic strata. Woh kehte hai na, shaadi ke liye koi dhoondna ho toh, kitty friends se pooch lo (they say if you are looking for a fitting marriage match, approach your kitty friends)," Dimple chuckles.

Dimple and Bobby, like several other Mumbai couples, are part of more than one kitty group. "It's quite frenzied since Dimple and I are part of three kitties, so that means we are booked for three Saturdays every month," laughs Bobby, who runs an automobile business with father Gurbachan. Dimple on the other hand, is member with at least five Day Kitties in addition to these three, making it a total of eight! Potluck Kitties, Card Kitties and Mum and Child Kitty, she rattles off.u00a0

Welcomes stranger to city
Dimple's buddy and kitty partner Umita Peswani says kitty groups often help individuals who are new to the city, settle in. "If there is a new couple in town, they can join a couple kitty to get introduced to people. Life seems easier with friends," says the 33 year-old homemaker, who drops in with her husband Kiran.

Daman Marwaha and her husband Gurbachan attend a Sikh-only kitty that they say leaves them feeling like "they belong".
pics/Bipin Kokate

It's where you belong
Bobby's mother Daman arrived in Mumbai 45 years ago, and joined a Sikh-only Kitty because she needed to belong. The Sikh immigrant from Kashmir has been attending kitties with husband Gurbachan, and says she feels at peace when she meets "apne log". "Betaji, members of our Sikh-only kitty are all well to-do individuals. We've been friends for long. We need each other," she says.

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And while Daman needs her kitty for some TLC, Pranjal Shharma joined hers for professional advice. The 36 year-old resident of Versova is part of a Tarot Kitty. The simple membership criteria: you need to be a tarot card reader. "We discuss problems we may have faced during our readings.u00a0 Other times, we talk about our lives, all over some tasty snacks of course," says the mother of a teenager. The close coterie will accept only a genuine tarot reader, after consent from the existing bunch.

Origin of the kitty
The Urban Dictionary describes the kitty party as a get-together of a bunch of Asian women from modern families, who collect money that's used to organise the next party. Yahoo Answers says that the etymology of kitty is this In 1719, kitty was variant of kitten, perhaps influenced by "girl, young woman". It says that a kitty party is one where a a group hosts a small party among themselves for the purpose of raising a "kitty" (nest egg) to pay for a big public charity event.