Does she have the upper hand?

Au00a0new dating site for men and women claims to put the women in charge, so that they can fob off unwarranted attention from anyone who they don't choose to interact with. Will it work in the real world?

The people behind new online dating site datedosti.com want you to know that they are 'The first Indian website that puts women in control'. How does it work? Log on, create a profile that includes the gender, age bracket and location you would like your potential 'datedost' to belong to, upload a profile picture (or not), and then browse the available options or wait for the requests to interact come in.



"What sets our site apart from other online dating sites is that a woman can only be approached through a system-generated message. There are five or six set messages that the men have to choose from to express their interest in a woman," shares founder Arjun Sawhney.

Women can then decide where they want to take it from there. Only one request per profile is allowed, so the hassle of having to contend with repeated requests does not arise. Also, if at a later stage the woman decides that she does not wish to take the interaction any further, she can block the person at any stage if she no longer wants to keep in touch.

That's not all. She can propose that an existing member be red-flagged for inappropriate behaviour. If 'found guilty' by the site owners, the guy will have a red flag appear next to his profile, so that other women (and men) are warned beforehand that he might be someone to be wary of. Two red flags? His profile will be taken off the site and he will be ex-communicated from the DateDosti community, says Arjun.

"We found that in India if we wanted to have an online dating service, we would have 'to protect' the woman. You cannot just import an idea or a concept that exists abroad and is popular, you have to adapt it," says the 38-year-old, adding that they came up with the idea after months of research.

Successful but lonely?
"India has a young population. There are so many people moving out of small towns to bigger cities. They are looking to develop their careers. They lead busy lives, but there is also an element of loneliness creeping in."

Relationship expert Ameeta Sanghavi Shah says that while the site can deter those interested in "shocking someone and/ or trying to engage them in a dialogue, the same problem might crop up at a later date." "The measures are the equivalent of putting a lock on your front door to deter a robber from entering your home," she says.

She adds, however, that offering a dating service that claims to put women in charge, does have its pros. "It serves as an antenna for women to be on their guard. Also, men with less serious intentions will look for other, easier ways to find women."