'My guy has proposed to me...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I'm 21 and a colleague who is 28 has proposed to me. What purpose does a proposal serve? Can't we just live along with each other without having to conform to norms? What hints do I have to drop to show I'm interested or not? Would I always have to say yes or no? I really would like to know what makes a man propose.
- Raima


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Raima,
It is his way of showing that he is committed to you, but at the same time it does not mean that you have to say a yes. This guy is interested in a future with you and he has expressed his feelings. At the same time you can speak your mind by telling him what you think of it. A proposal signals marriage, but if you feel it is wishful thinking on your guy's part, tell him what you feel of the situation. You are 21 and the guy is 28. Marriage may be in his scheme of things soon, but you seem to want to wait for a few years before taking the plunge.

Dear Diana,
I'm 23 and I've known this guy for a few months and I don't know what to do with him. We met at a party and we later got physical a couple of times. He treats me well, but I don't know where I stand with him. He is been showing me potential though. Interestingly, his mom wants him to marry me, but my response has always been to give us some more time.
- Shanaiya

Dear Shanaiya,
First of all clear your muddled head. Here is this guy who seems to like you and is interested in you. He has been dropping big hints that he is planning a future with you. He has already told his mom about you and that means he is serious about you. Ask yourself whether you are happy to be with him and care for him. If yes, tell him. If you want some time to ponder before taking a decision, tell him about it. He will surely understand.