'My girlfriend uses me at her convenience...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I have been hanging out with this girl for a while now. We met at a party and got along well. She's okay with me as long as I pamper her and splurge her with gifts. She tells she loves surprises, so she keeps telling me to do unplanned stuff. If I am busy at work or tied up and do not respond, she goes crazy. Then she tells me she is not my girlfriend. She then does not take my calls and stops meeting me. I often feel I am being used. I am her guy according to her convenience. I have asked her that being her guy means buying stuff for her and taking her to eat at fancy restaurants, her reply is that it is the most important part of the relationship. What should I do? Should I just say goodbye and walk off the next time she asks for a present? Or give her a chance to improve?
- Binod


Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Binod,
Your girlfriend is a gold digger. It is clear from her behaviour that she is after the gifts, and not you. Before you decide whether to continue with the relationship, she will drop you like a hot potato. It is a convenient arrangement for her to have you, till she finds another person who can splurge on bigger gifts for her. Why are you taking her nonsense? You cannot be at her beck and call. You need to stand up to her and make her aware that you cannot be at her mercy. If you still love her, tell her exactly how you feel. She needs to know that she cannot have an upperhand in the relationship. Both partners need to be equal. If things do not change on your front, you are better off without this gold digger.