'My boyfriend and I are constantly fighting...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I'm 26 and my boyfriend is 27. We have been fighting a lot lately. He even told me the other day that he is fed up of me. I now find him extremely immature. I want to settle down, but he's having dreamy views about the world and acts like a teenager. The four-year-old relationship is taking a toll on me and his difficult behaviour is adding to it.
- Yuvika


Illustration/Amit Bandre

Dear Yuvika,
It looks like you are bored with each other after being together for four years. Either you take stock of what has gone wrong in the relationship, or take a break from each other for a while and ponder if you should continue in it. Ask yourself if his presence makes you happy or makes you feel that you are better off without each other. You are now finding him immature, but at one time you did not. May be your expectations about him has changed too. You two are not teenagers, but in your late 20s. So be mature enough to handle the situation and decide whether you want to continue in the relationship.

Dear Diana,
I am having a hard time breaking off with my boyfriend of three years. He has become violent and abusive after he lost his job. I've been supporting him financially and he enjoys self-pity. To add to the drama, he shows up every where I go and ends up creating a scene. When I get upset, he apologises and then promises to be normal. Three days later, the same routine takes place. He has now taken to drinking and it's getting worse. How do I break off and keep the peace?
- Salima

Dear Salima,
Why are you tolerating his antics? You seem to be forgiving his deplorable behaviour and still every time he creates a scene. When he is in his senses and not drunk, tell him you have nothing to do with him. Just walk out on him.