'I have fallen for my friend's wife...'

Dear Diana,
I am married, but attracted to my friend's wife. Whenever I meet her, I just don't know what happens to me. On some pretext or the other, I keep dropping in at their home often. My friend has no clue what is going on in my mind. My feelings for his wife developed after I got to know her closely when my pal lost his dad recently. I was with them throughout their times of crises - from the time my pal's father had to be rushed to hospital and till he passed away. I realised how caring she is. We spoke a lot during this time. I now feel she is the woman for me. At the same time, I do not want to do anything that would destroy my friendship with my pal. I have known him since childhood. What do I do?
- Naveen

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

Dear Naveen,
This woman is your friend's wife, so you are well aware that you are playing with fire. It will ruin your life, your pal's life as well as her life. Your decades old relationship will your friend will never be the same again. You will cause him hurt and pain. Also, it appears that you are in love with him, but is the woman also in love with you? From the looks of it, it is an one-sided affair. You need to leave her alone and work on your marriage. A relationship with your pal's wife will only cause agony to you as well. You were drawn towards her during time of grief. You are mistaking sympathy for love. You have to end harbouring all such thoughts. Let him remain your best buddy and she, his wife. They have just gone through a time of crisis due to a death in the family, so do not add to their problems with your confessions of love for her. You do not even know what is on her mind. So let her be.