'I can't forget her even after years...'

Dear Diana,
It has been almost a decade since we went our ways, but I am finding it difficult to get over my ex and move on in life. We were together for three years. I keep thinking about her every single day. I am single while she is married now. I can't get her out of my head.

Illustration/Uday Mohite

It is as if I am still grieving. I don't know how to move on even after so many years. May be it is due to the fact that she walked out on me. It was too sudden. I was heartbroken. Sometimes I feel angry that she dumped me. But then I keep pining for her. How do I forget her? I need closure from the relationship. I often feel like meeting her, but have resisted any such desires. I do not want to create havoc in her world, especially now that she is married.
- Ranvir

Dear Ranvir,
Now that she is married, it is in your best interests to let her be your past. You are allowing yourself to keep thinking about her because you are not keen to move on. As they say, wake up and smell the coffee. It has been years that she called it quits. She dumped you, so instead of still loving her, you should have feelings of anger for her. She has ceased all contact with you. She did not want you in her life, but you are reluctant to get her out of your life. As long as you keep thinking about your ex girlfriend, you will not be over her. She is married now, so there is no point in trying to rekindle the romance by meeting her. She is with someone, she wanted to be with. Get it in your head that she did not care for you - the reason she walked away from you. Immerse yourself in work, keep yourself busy to keep thoughts about her at bay. Find someone who cares and reciprocates your feelings.