'I am having an affair with a married woman...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
I am 39 and married with a kid. I have fallen for a woman who is also married. She has two children. We knew each as neighbours, but over time we fell in love. We are discreet about our meetings and no one knows about our affair. We keep talking to each other on WhatsApp. I had an arranged marriage, so do not have those deep feelings for my wife. She is nice and caring, but my neighbour makes me feel wanted. I do not know if there is a future in our relationship. We know very well that we cannot give up on our respective partners. She tells me whom you love, you don't marry and whom you marry, you don't love. I had never been in a relationship earlier. I feel I have found love, but too late in life. This woman is always on my mind. Can I continue seeing her and at the same time remain married? She is open to this idea. Her husband keeps travelling for work, so we have our rendezvous when he is away and the kids at school. At the same time, guilt engulfs me.
- Neerav


Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Neerav,
Sooner or later, you two will be caught. Both of you are cheating on your respective partners. You are indulging in an extramarital affair. When your affair will be known there will be an uproar. Your respective families will have to suffer the brunt. You are using her to satisfy your sexual cravings and she is allowing you to do so as she appears to be not too happy with her partner. It is a dangerous liaison. It is better that both of you go your way and end your relationship immediately. Work towards building your marriage. Also, for how long will this affair last? Over a period of time, you will be bored of this woman or she of you. Before you get caught redhanded, get going.