'His birthday party ended on a bitter note...'

Dear Diana

Dear Diana,
My guy turned 25 last week. He was keen that he throw a big bash. For a month, I turned party planner and helped him organise the event. I booked the venue, drew up the guest list, sent the invites and planned the menu to make it a big success. Everything went off well, but after he cut the cake, some of his friends insisted on plastering the cake icing on his face. I stopped them as I detest it. Half the cake gets wasted. It messes up the clothes. I told him to cut a slice, but instead of offering it to me first, he gave it to his pals. I was upset, but did not show it. After the guests left, he turned to me and reprimanded me. My guy felt I had acted as a spoilsport by not allowing his pals to smear cake on his face. I kept quiet, but he kept venting his frustration. After that night, he stopped talking to me. I apologised, but he does not want to talk to me. What do I do?
- Vaneeta

Illustration/Uday Mohite

Dear Vaneeta,
Your guy was upset as you stopped his pals from smearing cake on his face. Nowadays it is the to-do thing at all parties. It has become the norm. At the same time, I understand your concern as it makes a mess of the clothes as well as of the flooring. Perhaps if you had spoken about it to him earlier, you would not have found yourself in such a situation. He knows you do not like it, so he could have stopped his pals. It has now become an ego issue as he thinks you did not respect the feelings of his pals. Just let him be for a while. He is still seething with anger. When things cool down, meet him and talk things out. Or let a common close pal play the mediator. He is playing difficult for now, so let the crisis blow over.