My girlfriend has a problem with sex...

Illustration/ Uday Mohite

My girlfriend seems to have a problem with sex and refuses to talk about it. We have a great relationship and have been together for almost a year, but this is always an issue and it makes me feel guilty. I don't know if it's because of something I am doing wrong, or something from her past that bothers her, but she clams up whenever I try and have a conversation about it. I am trying to be patient because I hope she can confide in me, but I don't want to force her to have sex with me until I find out more. Is this a good idea?

Patience is a great idea because forcing anyone to have sex is wrong. I understand that this means she doesn't get as much pleasure from it as you would like her to, but it has to be consensual and both partners need to enjoy it. If this isn't the case, and she hasn't been able to explain why, give her time and space to figure out how she can make you understand. Tell her that you are prepared to wait, talk about why it makes you feel guilty, and ask if she would like to speak to a professional, if opening up to you is difficult. Either way, this is something you will both have to work on together, if you want this relationship to evolve.

We broke up over two weeks ago and my ex hasn't contacted me at all. He has blocked me on WhatsApp and Facebook, and I have no way of knowing if he is okay. This was a mutual decision, but I am heartbroken at how quickly he seems to have forgotten about me. Should I call him?

Why are you surprised by his behaviour? If this was a mutual decision, it means you both wanted to end this, so why do you have a problem with him cutting off contact? This is simply his way of dealing with the end of this relationship.

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