I am confused about what I am doing...

illustration/ Uday Mohite

I am married but, for the past two years, my husband has been in a relationship with someone else. I don't mind because I know he loves her. I have two people who are interested in me, both of whom are married, and I like one of them. I want to date him but am confused. I don't know what I am doing. - HS

You do sound as if you're not sure about what you're doing, and this doesn't sound like a healthy marriage at all. Are you and your husband in an open relationship? Are you together because of specific reasons, given that you are both interested in other people? If there is some confusion about what you are doing, doesn't it make sense to try and address the marriage before you decide to get into what is going to be another adulterous relationship? I suggest you have a chat about this with family and friends who know you and your husband, so they can try and evaluate why things are the way they are. Being with another man isn't a solution.

I think my boyfriend and I are a little too close and it bothers me because we have been together for just 3 weeks. Should I step back and take it slow for a while?

That is entirely up to you and your level of comfort with him. If you feel as if you are sharing more than you want to, you are under no obligation to continue. Do what makes you happy. If he is comfortable opening up about his life, that is his prerogative. It's also okay to be close to someone in 3 weeks, because it sometimes takes people a long time to arrive at that level of openness and intimacy. If it bothers you, think about what you are worried about and why, and change how you are with him based on that understanding. In time, you will both arrive at a level of comfort. Until then, go with your instinct.

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