Toxic work culture: Humiliation at workplace is driving employees to quit

Humiliation at workplace is a culture no company would like to identify with. However, it is a rampant practice that is pushing people into unhealthy working conditions or quitting altogether. Mumbai-based leadership coach and a seasoned HR, Prabir Jha says, "Despite the ongoing toxicity at workplace, people are finally calling it out and seeking a more fulfilling role. With the evolving awareness and job fluidity, people are more empowered to not live with this malaise."

A recent study by MIT Sloan shows that toxic work culture is a primary factor pushing people to quit their jobs. While LinkedIn bleeds with layoffs, Midday Online spoke to employees who finally put in their papers to end the unbearable whims of a foul workplace.

For Anila Maqbool, it had been only two weeks as a publicist with a city-based hospitality firm when she felt targeted by her co-workers. "I was the youngest team member and that was my biggest crime. It began when my colleagues started singling me out to keep me out of the loop. Initially, my tasks would be met with obstacles and my execution was slow. Gradually, I found myself running in circles seeking approvals and chasing deadlines. I developed anxiety issues and my self-esteem suffered a blow."

When Anila spoke to her manager about the recurrent issues, she was met with a bitter response. Her manager scorned: "You act like all the wrongs are happening with you only! The world doesn't revolve around you and you need to work on your inefficiencies." Right after this episode, Anila decided to quit and left without collecting her due compensation and the relieving letter.

In another instance, Mukul Lodha (name changed), shares a mortifying account of what he went through while working with a Delhi-based human rights law firm. He was hired as a cameraman for a month-long contract to shoot visuals in Tripura. In a telephonic conversation, he explains: "My contract stated that I was supposed to shoot the footage and share the dump. So, I delivered what was asked of me. A month later, I get a call from the CEO who offered me a job at the same firm!"

Excited as he was to receive the offer, Mukul decided to visit the office. Upon visiting, he was met with a hostile attitude. The founder asked, "Why didn't you edit the footage you shot?" To which Mukul explained that he was hired only to shoot and not edit. Mukul recalls the moment when the founder began to scream and caught him off guard. "Do you have no passion for the work you do? How unprofessional of you to just dump your footage and move on? You are a disappointment!"

It was a blow to Mukul's work ethic. Before he could even join, he was treated with humiliation and gross misunderstanding at a workplace that supposedly fights for human rights. Two days later, he sent the edited video along with a statement declining the job offer. Mukul was resolved to prove his capability and also call out the undignified attitude of his employer.

Mental health researcher Ishan Shivanand is of the opinion that people demean their colleagues/subordinates to be able to feel intelligent. "In psychological sciences, gaslighting is a way of emotionally manipulating someone to make them believe that their thoughts, viewpoints, emotions or imagination are not right. The bullies consistently emphasise on proving you wrong to feel superior to you. It can be done in any order of hierarchy, as long as the individual is allowing themselves to be bullied."

Read More: 7 tips to manage office politics

A bad boss can take a good staff & destroy it, causing the best employees to flee and remainder to lose all motivation. In a similar case, Tanya Pathak recounts her final days of working as a communications associate with a city-based non-profit organisation. She mentions that there were no respectful boundaries that were adhered to at her workplace.

"My boss would try to get very personal which would make me feel noxious. I would receive unsolicited opinions on my personal life be it my dressing or friendships. It made me doubt myself and question my choices. I felt gaslit by senior employees and it began affecting my health, both physical and emotional. Ultimately, I resigned as I couldn't deal with the mounting stress."

Psychological impacts of workplace bullying

Bullying and humiliation can have a detrimental impact on an employee's mental wellbeing. It can build work-related stress and lead to burnouts. Employees may also experience frequent episodes of feeling overwhelmed during the day and end up with mental health concerns including anxiety and depression, shares Ishan, who is also a professor of meditative modalities.

"It leaves scars that can undermine one's confidence forever. The person can draw into a shell, choosing not to ideate or collaborate, and in many ways alter the fundamentals of one's personality. In cases, this emotional expression can lead to acute depression, with potential life risks" added Prabir.

This can be prevented by creating healthier and more productive workplaces for all. Bengaluru-based Myah Payel Mitra has been working with organisations to build motivating and engaging environment inside offices. In a conversation with Mid-day, she shares that people will opt to work at an organisation where they feel recognised, included, valued, promoted, and appreciated.

"For many people, work-life balance and employment that keeps their mental health positive is a top priority. People don't necessarily switch jobs for money only; most of them are looking for respect and mental peace. Anything that costs you your peace of mind is too expensive and many people therefore choose peace over paycheck," shares Myah who is an award-winning employee engagement and career transition coach.

Common signs of a toxic workplace:

1 It's an environment that lacks physical, mental, emotional and psychological safety.
2 Employees don't feel safe to ask questions, share their opinions, or provide honest feedback.
3 Disrespect, discrimination, bullying, and harassment, scapegoating becomes a norm.
4 Leaders don't intervene to protect employees or resolve conflicts.
5 There is a lack of trust, transparency and equity amongst employees.
6 High levels of stress and burnout, leading to higher attrition rates.

Why do toxic bosses get away with this behavior?
"Bad bosses are created, nurtured and rewarded by their bosses and organisations. Many deliver a financial number and everything else gets a blind eye. This emboldens them to continue with such behaviour. As a success recipe, this behaviour becomes the template for others and the cancer spreads. Such bosses have rarely had honest feedback, coaching support or reprimands for them to be anything else. In some cases, this may have been a blind spot for long. Worst, poor HR systems make them believe that this behaviour alone delivers business outcomes, a myth they have carefully cultivated", highlights Prabir who is the CEO of Prabir Jha People Advisory, a boutique platform for retained strategic advisory, talent search & executive coaching.

For employees to stand up against such behaviour requires them to personally believe that they must do so. They also need to instil confidence in their organisation that it will stand by them. "Often both are missing. Surely the latter is absent and employees prefer to stay quiet and suffer silently or, if they can, quit at the first opportunity."

Such is the case of Vikrant Mehra, a Mumbai-based creative director working with an ad agency. In a telephonic conversation, he shares how the constant cycle of ideation and rejection has led to his mental burnout. He has been and held back from promotions, his creativity questioned and his ideas quashed as his boss constantly critiqued his credibility.

"It's tough to stand up against my boss. He is seldom receptive to feedback as that makes him far more aggressive, vengeful and wicked. He is selfish to the core. He leans on positional authority and inflicts damage without a second thought. I am seeking other avenues but till then I will not stop calling him out for his toxicity", shared Vikrant who intends to quit as soon as a better opportunity comes his way.

What can employees do to combat humiliation at workplace?
Myah shares a guide to deal with workplace inefficiencies. "Firstly, decide if you want to work for the same company or not, given the toxic environment. If you decide to leave, then start working on your exit plan while maintaining the same professionalism at work in your current job. It is best not to gossip about your toxic boss to other co-workers.

And if you decide stay on then have a conversation with your boss letting them know how you feel. If the behavior does not change over a period of time and you decide to make a formal complaint to the HR in your organisation, then start keeping a record of the rude behaviors and documenting them before filing a case. Be prepared as the outcome could go either way!"

Prabir resonates with Myah and goes one step ahead by saying that the best way is if you could actually speak up to such bosses to their face! Some companies have very effective Ombudsman processes to raise such issues. Some organisations have cultures which look at these situations as unacceptable aberrations. One could speak to the skip level manager or HR in such cases. You could even talk to Employee Assistance Group counsellors that some companies offer. But if none of these are effective, you must explore internal jobs away from this manager or quit altogether. Nothing can be a reason to work with terrible bosses endlessly. The price you pay might be astronomical!