Friendship Day 2024: ‘We have been friends for over 60 years’, Mumbaikars share heartwarming stories of timeless bonds

Colin Pinto distinctly remembers how his friend Melvin Dominic's parents got married the same day as his parents all those many years ago in Mumbai. It was like as if they were bound to be friends, living in the same neighbourhood and even visiting each other's house every other day. He explains, "Since our families knew each other, we were friends from the first day of school over 60 years ago. Over the years, we went to many music concerts together in Mumbai including the 1981 Osibisa concert at Sardar Vallabhbhai Patel stadium (called NSCI Dome today) in Worli, which was a memorable one." Over the years, they have got married and had their own families, but their friendship has stood the test of time like many other Mumbaikars today.

Every year, International Friendship Day is celebrated on July 30, according to the day assigned by the United Nations. While every year there are stories of unusual friendships with humans or pets, there is hardly a focus on friendship's that have stood the test of time. It is one aspect that deserves more credit than it gets especially in times like today when people are constantly talking about how they fell apart with their close or best friends due to distance or lack of time. The meme that has been going viral about how people lose more friends as they turn 30 and older is all too real for many as they navigate relationships around them. However, there are some like Pinto's that have lasted long.

Even if the Mumbaikar, who grew up in Kalina doesn't call Dominic every other day or week, they make it a point to call each other on their birthdays or for personal celebrations and festivals including Christmas, New Year and respective wedding anniversaries. "I also have another friend Marcian Alves, who was in the same class as me and Melvin. Our entire school batch is connected through a WhatsApp group. I don't type much there, but I keep in touch with them reminiscing the good old days."

School friends for life
Elsewhere in the city, Helen Almeida is busy donning many hats during the day but once the clock strikes 5 pm, it is time to catch up with her friend Jaya Fernandes. She shares, "We grew up in a boarding school together and hence stayed in the same hostel. So, we have been friends for almost 55 years now. We would always steal mangoes from the tree in the boarding school. We would always cheat when playing hide and seek by exchanging clothes and confusing other people."

Over the years, even though they started working and went on with their lives, they still managed to keep in touch over five decades, putting many modern-day friendships to shame, especially those who complain about not having the time to meet or spend time with their friends. "When I moved to Vasai, we were closer to each other - just a hop, skip and jump away," Almeida shares, continuing, "We meet each other often and celebrate birthdays and festivals together." While people change over time, the 61-year-old Mumbaikar believes that Fernandes is generous, kind and funny, but most importantly keeps in touch, especially when people have lost touch over time as they're busy with their own lives and families. Today, they not only find the time to call each other at 5 pm to "gossip" but also go out for lunch or picnics once every month.

Over 40 years of honesty
It has been no different for Placy Lobo from Mira Road who still can't believe how she would become best friends with Juney Ittoop (now Juney Xavier). "I met this simple girl in college in 1978. After we said hi to each other on the first day, by coincidence we sat on the same bench daily. She lived in Mahim and I lived in Bandra, close to the college. Our friendship continued at the same bench and looking forward to meeting each other daily." It is more than 40 years now and Lobo says their friendship continues with a very strong bond.

While many friends came along the way, Lobo says it was special with Juney. "We both continued in the commerce college till our graduation. Then I met her family for lunch and we became very close and her family too loved me. Juney also started visiting my family and we became great friends and shared all our secrets." It's been more than four decades now but they continue to talk to each other every second day and sometimes even twice a day because their talks don't seem to end, she adds.

Over the years, the one aspect of their friendship that has stood the test of time has been their frankness with each other, believes Lobo. "We don't compromise on our negatives when it comes to giving advice and that's how we have continued our friendship. It's a very strong bond by now. We feel lost when one of us goes on a family holiday because that is the time we lose touch due to time difference," she adds.

Interestingly, this didn't stop them from being at their mischievous best as they were almost like two peas in a pod whenever they were together because they were inseparable. "We would bunk lectures and go to eat snacks and if anyone would look at us, we would keep a piece of snack outside our plate and say, ‘that boy is looking, our stomach will pain', then both of us would laugh. We would keep fooling with our professors too during lectures by making some silly comments. Even today, we remember these pranks and laugh when we meet."

Today, the two of them not only meet for shopping, lunch, dinner, and parties but even go out on holidays to Goa, Mahabaleshwar and Alibaug too. This is apart from their monthly outing to either of their homes in the city to spend a day full of food, fun and laughter. Over the years, even their batchmates have been shocked that the two have been such thick friends after four decades. "It is a beautiful friendship, and I can never think of losing this friendship," shares a teary-eyed Lobo, while adding, "Sometimes, I can't imagine how the years have gone by and it's like we just met yesterday. We are with each other during the toughest battles in our lives and make things easier by our love and togetherness with each other. The best part is we never lost our touch with each other." Even as Xavier leaves for Canada today to spend time with her daughter, Lobo says they will continue to be in touch through the time difference.

Dealing with life together
Even Delhi-based Geetika Sasan Bhandari is younger than Pinto, Almeida and Lobo, she also boasts of a friendship that is over 35 years now with two really close friends - Meera Desor and Ayesha Seth. She shares, "We became friends at Welham Girls' School, an all-girls boarding school in Dehradun. Fortunately for us, we've been at the same stage of life at the same time, so our older ones are all born in the same year and all going to college this year." Over the years it meant discussing play schools to regular school admission woes, teenage issues and now the transition to adulthood. "It helps that our husbands get along too. We've always made the effort to meet and to stay connected over emails at that time, followed by the phone and now WhatsApp." Such has been their friendship that they have all gone back to school for their reunions and relieved memories while also making new ones.

There are many memorable moments but the best ones, she says have been, "Stealing a cigarette from one of our grandmom's and then code-naming it amrood (guava) because that is what we ate right after, to camouflage the smell. So, the next time we wanted to, it became ‘do you want amrood? One of my friends is really good at art and had a super steady hand, so we would all stand in a queue and she would be putting eyeliner on each person like an assembly line - when we had ‘Socials' with The Doon School. Then in college in Delhi, in the ‘90s, standing in the government theka queue to buy alcohol and handling all the stares."

While they speak to each other every other day, they are also followers of Buddhism and that gives them another reason to come together apart from their WhatsApp group called ‘Lifeline' - which she says is literally what they are to each other. Even as she believes the way people perceive friendship today has changed, the one thing that keeps her friends and together is a lot more. "With very close friends who have known you forever you know each other so well, there is no need for explanations or excuses. You just pick up where you left off, you can tell when the other is low and needs a chat, and you are each other's biggest cheerleaders and fans. As you get older, it is difficult to keep opening yourself up, to keep putting yourself out there and putting your best foot forward with new people. You tend to prefer fewer interactions but more meaningful ones," she concludes.