Grief, loneliness, fear of missing out: Experts share tips to navigate mental health challenges during the festive season

Decked-up houses, fun social gatherings, authentic cuisines, and diverse cultural experiences - festivals are often considered a source of cheer and celebration. However, behind the allure of festivities lies another truth about the festive season - not everyone experiences festivals the same way, and not everyone associates them with happiness and togetherness.

The festive season is upon us with Raksha Bandhan and Janmashtami being the series openers. Many people will be gathering with family and friends, bringing in these and other festivals in their unique ways. However, during this time, it also becomes important to take stock of one's mental health, to not alienate or even overwhelm oneself.

We speak to Dr. Shubhangni Jain, a Delhi-based counselling and rehabilitation psychologist and educator, and Archana Singhal, counsellor, family therapist and founder of Mindwell Counsel, Delhi, who explain why the festive season can be especially challenging for mental health, how to navigate loneliness and fear of missing out (FOMO) and how to maintain well-being amidst all the celebration.

Trigger warning: Mention of loss, trauma and depression

Mental health risks during the festivals
"The festive season, often seen as a time of joy and celebration, can paradoxically increase the risk of mental health challenges," states Singhal. She lists the following factors that can contribute to this.

• Social pressure: Festivals are often associated with social gatherings and expectations. The pressure to appear happy, participate in social activities and meet societal expectations can lead to anxiety and stress, especially for those who struggle with social interactions or feel disconnected.
• Financial stress: The festive season often involves gift-giving, decorations and special meals, which can lead to financial strain. The pressure to spend beyond one's means to meet these expectations can cause significant stress and anxiety.
• Loneliness and isolation: While festivals are typically times of joy and togetherness, they can also magnify feelings of loneliness for those who are estranged from family or who have lost loved ones. The contrast between societal expectations of togetherness and an individual's reality can lead to depression.
• Grief and loss: It can be particularly painful for those who have experienced the loss of a loved one. Holidays often bring back memories, and the absence of a loved one can intensify feelings of grief and sadness.
• Disruption of routine: Festivals often disrupt daily routines, including sleep patterns, diet, and exercise. These disruptions can exacerbate existing mental health conditions or trigger new ones.

Dr. Jain clarifies, "It is not specifically the festive season or festivals that evoke challenging emotions or are associated with trauma. It is the life experiences of people that may trigger certain emotions during this time."

"Life experiences can vary from divorce to the loss of a loved one. These make festivals less enjoyable for people, especially if someone has gone through these challenges recently," she adds.

She discusses other factors that may lead to disturbed mental health during festivals.
• Childhood experiences or trauma: If one has negative experiences during their childhood or has a particularly negative memory about family, friends, etc., that is connected to it, they grow up to associate the festival with that experience.
• Fear of the unknown: Families celebrate festivals differently. Everyone has their customs, rituals, etc. Hence, it can become overwhelming for someone to be a part of the festivities if they believe they are not aware of the traditions, especially with friends. This can lead to anxiety, isolation and even depression.

Among the major mental health risks during the festive season, two of the most prevalent ones are the fear of missing out (FOMO) and loneliness.

Navigating fear of missing out (FOMO) in social media era
Pretty backdrops, aesthetic lighting, new outfits, family pictures - social media is usually wealthy during the festive season, with public display of celebrations being the wealth.

While it is a great way to build community and let others be a part of your celebration, it can also cause a fear of missing out (FOMO).

Dr. Jain comments, "Social media is all about comparison. If we see a picture with a better backdrop, lighting, outfits, etc., we instantly start thinking on the lines of ‘why didn't or couldn't I do this? This puts individuals on a path of self-doubt and self-blame."

Given each individual attaches a different meaning to each festival, its celebration is also bound to be different. Hence, comparison is futile.

"For someone who has lost a loved one and doesn't want to celebrate a festival on a grand scale, the celebration can even look like just going to an orphanage or old age home and spending time there. Similarly, there can be different scenarios for different people," she adds.

She also has an interesting take on the matter. "Sometimes, FOMO can arise not out of materialistic things but lack of knowledge on a particular festival and how it is celebrated. One feels out of place. In this case, social media can be of great help. What others are sharing can give you an insight into untold customs, gifting options, dress codes, etc. This eliminates the stress of ‘not knowing' or ‘not fitting in', equipping individuals to be more present and involved in festivities, thus alleviating FOMO," she explains.

Singhal shares additional tips to navigate the fear of missing out.
● Limit social media use: The curated and often idealised versions of others' festive experiences on social media can trigger FOMO. Limiting the time spent on these platforms can reduce exposure to these triggers. Setting specific times to check social media or using apps to monitor usage can help maintain control.
● Focus on real connections: Instead of scrolling through others' posts, prioritize real-life connections with family and friends. Engaging in meaningful conversations and activities can help you feel more grounded and reduce the urge to compare your experiences with others.
● Practice gratitude: Shift your focus from what you're missing out on to what you have. Practising gratitude by acknowledging the positive aspects of your life, no matter how small can help counteract feelings of inadequacy and dissatisfaction that FOMO can cause.
● Set personal boundaries: Recognize that it's okay to say no to events or activities that don't align with your values or interests. By setting personal boundaries, you can protect your mental well-being and avoid the pressure of participating in everything just to keep up with others.

Combatting loneliness during the festive season
Due to the diverse meanings people attach to festivals and the varied experiences they have, it is natural for feelings of loneliness to kick in, even in an atmosphere of togetherness.

"One of the most impactful ways to combat loneliness is by reaching out to others. Initiating contact with friends, family or acquaintances, even through a simple message or call, can help rekindle relationships and alleviate feelings of isolation. If direct connections feel challenging, joining online communities or local social groups that align with your interests can provide a sense of belonging and opportunities for meaningful interactions," suggests Singhal.

"Additionally, engaging in volunteering can be a powerful antidote to loneliness. By dedicating time to help others in need, you not only contribute to the well-being of others but also gain a sense of purpose and connection," she adds.

"Creating new personal traditions or rituals, like a special holiday meal or a cozy movie night, can provide comfort and joy. If loneliness becomes overwhelming, seeking support from a counsellor or therapist can offer valuable perspectives and coping strategies. Embracing solitude as an opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth can also transform loneliness into a period of introspection and renewal," Singhal further informs.

Dr. Jain believes that communication and acceptance are key to combating loneliness.

"It is important to be curious to know more - about the festivals, how different people celebrate it, how you can celebrate it, what importance it holds for you, etc. So, introspection and communication are key not only to be a part of a community but also to be at peace with oneself and the way one navigates festivals," she says.

She also suggests expanding one's social circle through various gatherings can reduce loneliness.

Tips for maintaining mental well-being during the festive season

While there is no one-size-fits-all formula for maintaining mental health, there are some ways to manage the challenges.
Singhal has the following tips.

• Start by establishing a balanced routine. The festive season can disrupt normal schedules, but prioritizing regular sleep, nutritious meals, and consistent physical activity is crucial. Maintaining a structured routine helps regulate mood and energy levels, counteracting the stress often associated with the holidays.
• Self-care is another essential aspect. Amid the seasonal rush, carve out time for relaxation and activities that bring you joy, whether it's reading a book, taking a walk, or practicing a hobby.
• Setting realistic expectations and boundaries is vital to avoid feeling overwhelmed. Recognize your limits and communicate them clearly with family and friends. It's okay to say no to additional commitments or social gatherings if they add to your stress. Managing expectations helps prevent burnout and ensures you can enjoy the festivities without undue pressure.

"Getting out of one's comfort zone, communicating and building connections can significantly help ease mental health woes during the festive season," Dr. Jain concludes.

Disclaimer: This information does not replace professional medical advice. Consult a qualified mental health expert for personalised guidance.