Neelam Kothari on reception to Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives: ‘You cannot ignore us’

Neelam Kothari Soni

Neelam Kothari Soni's honesty has a way of shining on the screen. As she pursued her acting career in the '80s and early '90s, she was the quintessential girl-next-door, whose one smile was enough to break hearts. However, she quit acting early to focus on her family. Decades later, as she returned to the screen with Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives, it was her charm and her vulnerability that endeared her to audiences again. As the reality show's third season streams on Netflix, the actor opens about how it has brought her closer to her three friends - Maheep Kapoor, Bhavana Panday, and Seema Sajdeh - her reaction to the new entrants on the show, and putting up her life for public scrutiny.

Edited excerpts from the interview.

How do you feel about your journey so far on The Fabulous Lives of Bollywood Wives?
I'm absolutely enjoying it. Doing a reality show is not easy. We've reached season three and are diving deeper into a person's life and their personality. There are days where I have felt uncomfortable, but by and large, it's a blast because I'm with my besties.

How tough is it to be vulnerable in front of the camera?
During season one, I found it very difficult. But then in the consecutive seasons, I felt that the more vulnerable you are, and the more you show your true personality, you win hearts. I think the show has done so well because each one of us has come out and spoken about our life that normally people wouldn't talk about [as it would make them] uncomfortable. In the first season, I did my fillers. I don't think anyone in India has ever come on a show and said, ‘I do fillers'.

How have the ups and downs in your friendship been over the three seasons?
In the first season, the actual action happened after the cameras stopped rolling. It was the first fight. These things happen between friends. We just didn't anticipate it happening [so soon]. Maheep and I were wondering, ‘What the hell just happened?' But that's the nature of this show. You never know what's coming because it's not scripted. We don't know what the other person is going to say or what I'm going to say. That makes it a little challenging because you don't know what's coming your way.

Previously, the audience only knew your characters. Now people know you as a person. How do you feel about that?
Before we started rolling for season one, I was scared because earlier, the only way people got to know anything about a star was through letters. There were hardly any interviews that happened. So, I was apprehensive because for the first time, people would see the real me, my equation with my family and my friends. But after the show dropped, I was pleasantly surprised that we all got so much love, especially me because I've been part of the industry.

Do you think the show has revived your acting career?
I don't think it has [revived] my acting career, but it has definitely put me back in the spotlight.

Do you sometimes feel you have to be careful about not stepping on someone's toes because you are more popular than the others?
That's me as a person. Even in real life, I'm careful and cautious. That is my personality. But in season three, I've cut loose a little bit.

How do you handle the criticism that comes your way?
Some people will love us, some people will hate us, but they definitely can't ignore us.

Did you feel like the new faces that came in have encroached into your space now?
I felt like that in the beginning. The four of us felt like this is our show, but having new people on board [leads to] different conversations and different scenarios. But we take this very personally. We four are the OGs.

One moment in this season that you love the most?
In every season, when I'm on holiday with the girls, I cut loose. I'm just a different person. The holidays are definitely my favourite part. We went to Mauritius this season. The best thing about the four of us is that there is no competition. There is a certain comfort that only comes from being friends for so many years.