Kapil Sharma talks about his panic attacks: I wanted to jump into the sea

Television's funnyman Kapil Sharma turned into an object of ridicule after experiencing superstardom. With allegations ranging from success going to his head to battling mood swings to squabbling with co-actors, he now finds himself alone and vulnerable. His undoing began in March this year, after he took the now infamous Australia tour with the cast of his hit sketch comedy television show.

Kapil Sharma

Yesterday, at the launch of his film, Firangi, the actor opened up on his decline. He said it was all triggered by panic attacks that he suffered. "I could not step on the stage to perform and would cancel the shoot. I suffered from anxiety and drank myself silly. I would stay locked up in the office with my pet dog. People stopped coming on the show and I went off the radar."

The rapid downslide of The Kapil Sharma Show left him defeated and further fed in to his anxiety, so much so that he even considered suicide. He recollected, "One of my close friends asked me to shift to his seaside apartment. He thought a change of scene would be good for me. As I saw the wide expanse of sea from his balcony, I felt like jumping into it. I was depressed; it felt like the world was gunning for me."

To the public that adored him, the turning point came in March this year when rumours circulated over Sharma hurling a shoe at co-star Sunil Grover on a flight. "If only Sunil had asked me why I was behaving like this. We were doing the show for five years. He could have confronted me, 'What's wrong? I have not seen this side of you.' I still love him. The people you love the most, end up hurting you or you end up upsetting them."

Also read: Kapil Sharma: Never had a fight with Sunil Grover

He further shed light on the incident stating, "Since it was a long-haul flight from Mumbai, I had removed my shoes and was wearing socks to be more comfortable. So, where was the question of throwing a shoe at Sunil? What upsets me is none of them revealed the truth." Sharma accepted that he had had a difference of opinion with Chandan Prabhakar during the Australia tour - one that they resolved there itself. But, the media chose to give a different spin to the story.

Also read: Kapil Sharma is going strong with girlfriend Ginni; friend quashes rumours of splitsville

"On our arrival, news about my misbehaviour went viral and everything went out of control." Sharma, who had even checked into a holistic healthcare centre in Bengaluru, said his recovery will be a slow but steady process. "My mother had no clue about what was happening. I told her that my show was not being shot due to a strike. There was a time when the who's who of Bollywood came on my show. I have seen the highs. I have fallen, but I will rise again."