'I lost out because I couldn't play groupie'

Bobby Deol

Bobby Deol at Preity Zinta's wedding reception last June. Pic/Satej Shinde

As a class 3 student, when Bobby Deol was asked by his teacher about his ambition, he had innocently said, "Main hero banunga". Acting happened by default, he admits, because he was Dharmendra's son. "Everyone told me, 'Tu hero banega'. I spent too much time on film sets while growing up. I didn't even know that I wanted to be an actor, but I was obsessed with being a film hero," he recounts.

After decades in the industry, the Deol scion, who was a big name in the '90s, says his career took a nosedive after Humraaz (2002). "Stardom is a bubble and no one should fool themselves into believing it's forever. I had a great start and then suddenly, a few films didn't fare well. Work slowed down and so did I. Social media took over and I didn't keep up because I am too old-fashioned for it. I don't understand how people can keep talking about themselves. In the last five years, I disappeared. I was made to sound lackadaisical and temperamental. Apparently, I am lazy and not punctual. I don't remember a single time I was late for work. But I was a chiller. I would tell those around me, 'Shit, I have a 6am call time'. Doesn't everyone do that? God knows what people thought I am! The biggest problem with me is that I am what I am. There is no façade. Maybe I should've been two-faced," says the actor.

He agrees that people held on to that image of his for longer than they should have. "Maybe, I didn't change enough. People still think I am a snazzy boy with long hair, gyrating to peppy songs. Maybe Gupt (1997) stuck on in people's minds," Bobby quips, adding his next film, Poshter Boys, will change that image.

Ask him if he went through depression and he nods. "I was frustrated and no one else understood how I felt. I wasn't getting work. I didn't know anything else except being on an acting set. Since I couldn't be anyone's groupie, I lost out. I never sought benefit from friendships. I was ready to work with everyone, but luck failed me. I let go of myself because the negativity began to eat me up."

But there were a handful of friends, who stood by him. He counts Akshay Kumar, Akshaye Khanna and Priety Zinta as his closest pals. "I have more colleagues than friends in the industry. Here, everyone is self-involved. No wonder they lose love easily. Akshaye is a sweetheart, a bigger recluse than me. Akki is a badmaash. Preity is my Pritam Singh and is one of the boys. Salman [Khan] is a darling, but the Khans are busy men. Everyone wants to be friends with them."

One of the things he couldn't adapt to is actors being put out for sale as commodities. "People sell themselves everywhere. The privacy of the '90s is gone. Thankfully, at no point, stardom made me lose my mind. But these days, actors constantly talk to the media."