Tabu: I just wanted to look good, wear good clothes in the '90s

The reticent Tabu opens up about her career choices

We don't see you often on screen. Are the roles coming your way not good enough?
There are roles coming my way and I have got the best of offers over the years. The people I work with should be established filmmakers and I should cherish the acting experience. I don't choose films for great roles. I have done fewer films because often what I am offered is something I do not want to do. My approach to selecting films is different.

Tabu

What do you think before signing a film?
Mujhe paisa mil raha hai ki nahi [laughs].

Is money your priority?
It is, but on a serious note, I should like what is being offered. Otherwise, even if you are paying me any amount, I won't be a part of it. Also, as you grow in your career, you start being fearless; experience teaches you to test new waters and not be scared.

What have you have become fearless about?
I am not afraid of people anymore. I don't think too much because I know I can handle most situations. I am not affected by things anymore and I can tackle situations in a better way. I have also started experimenting with the kind of roles that I do. Haider was a risk-taking character, but people today remember me as Ghazala [her character's name] and not as Shahid Kapoor's mother.

In most of the films that you have done, invariably the onus lies on you because of the characters that you have played.
That's why I did Golmaal Again [laughs], there was no added responsibility. Most of the other cast members have been a part of the franchise since its inception. I was like a guest, who would go on the set, enjoy the privileges and make new friends.

Does it get exhausting when you play emotionally draining characters?
There is a huge part of myself when I am playing these characters, especially when I am going through their emotional journey. Films like Drishyam, Hu Tu Tu, Astitva, Maqbool, Chandni Bar and The Namesake took a part of me. Acting is a crazy profession. It takes a toll on every one, that's why logon ko actors pagal lagte hai. Mentally and emotionally we have to get into a particular zone, come out of it and keep doing it. Most of the time, I can switch off once the camera is off because as an actor when I wrap up a film, I want my responsibility to end there. I don't like to be accountable because it takes away the joy of my process. I am engaged in the film and the character and that is my journey. I have found my space and I am fortunate that the audience has never rejected me. This is the reason I am still here or else I would have run away long back. Mujhe ek mauka chaiye bhaagne ka [laughs].

You must have been approached with the same kind of roles throughout your career.
Yes, but I have rejected them because I don't want to be part of a formula. I don't want to be boring. The films that I mentioned earlier were not done thinking that I will become the poster girl for intense characters. It is the people around you that make you conscious. They started advising me about what I should do and what not. Agar mera ek role hit ho jaata, toh bolte the yehi karo, career ke liye achha hai. But I didn't take it seriously and did what I felt like.

In the '90s what was your thought process while choosing films?
I just wanted to look good, wear good clothes, sing songs, dance and romance the heroes [laughs].

Then how did you pick up some powerful roles early in your career?
Over a period of time you also want to express yourself. I was subliminally looking for a platform to showcase my talent. I was excited when films like Kaala Paani, Maachis and Chandni Bar came my way. It was like I had found something that I really wanted to do. I am lucky that these films came to me. I was also ready for it. I am always thankful to all the directors who trusted me that I could pull off such roles. I bonded with the people who were involved in making these films. The sheer fact that I have been able to portray various emotions in the characters that I have done is a huge high for me.

Do you ever sit back and watch your films and cringe on some of the roles that you've done?
No, never. I don't dislike any of the films that I have done. Every project has a journey and I never went in it with a plan. But sometimes when I see myself on TV and I am like, 'Did I do this? Aisa bhi acting karti thi main' [laughs]. Despite being a part of cinema, I am a non-cinema person. I grew up in Hyderabad and there was a lot of importance towards academics. My sister [Farha] was a movie buff, but I never liked watching films. I had no intention of being an actor. Everything in my life happened by chance, so I don't assess my work so. It may come across that I have done a lot of thinking because of the films that I have done, but that's not
the case.

If you had to pick one favourite film of yours, which one would it be?
Itna difficult question [thinks]. Hu Tu Tu was a complex role for me and Cheeni Kum's character is close to my heart. I don't know if anyone has watched Jaal but that is one of my favourite roles [laughs]. I am sure a lot of people will feel it's an unusual choice but I enjoyed doing the film.

Is there a director who you can never say no to?
Vishal [Bhardwaj] is someone who I can collaborate on any film because I trust him implicitly. I heard two scenes of Haider and said yes to the film. Even if he had not narrated me the script, I would have done it. I know that he would come to me only if it is worth my time.

Have you ever done a film, just to be a part of it?
I think I can say that about Life Of Pi. The character did so much justice to me that it wasn't like that I did it just because I wanted to work with Ang Lee. When I saw his film, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon. I was stunned. I wanted to meet him. So when I got an email from his team that he wanted to meet me I started dancing [laughs]. It turned out to be one of the most loved films of my career.

Would you like to do more films in the West?
I think I have done two of Hollywood's better movies [The Namesake and Life Of Pi] and both of them happened without any agents or me trying hard. I don't really like to run or pursue anything until it happens organically. I'm sure Hollywood se bhi offers aayenge.