Kangana Ranaut on 'Rangoon' debacle: Felt like sh*t

Kangana Ranaut

Kangana Ranaut

"Can you believe they removed it from the film," asks Kangana Ranaut as she sits pretty with perfect curls minutes before walking the ramp for a fabric launch. She is referring to a scene from her last film, 'Rangoon', that had her character, Julia, brutally whipping herself. In an interview with mid-day in January, she had said Julia inflicts pain on herself out of shame since "she is so sucked in by her guilt". Unit hands had even broken into applause after her take.

Kangy admits her confidence taking a beating following the film's debacle. "I, for one, thought the film had all the ingredients to be a profitable business proposition. It [film's failure] was heartbreaking. Before this film, every time people asked me if failure throws me back, I knew the answer was no. Do I go into a low zone? Well, this time around I was affected. Maybe when you are bigger and grow more, both success and failure become more of your responsibility. I felt 'Rangoon''s failure was targeted at me. Various people used that time of my life to direct their anger at me (presumably referring to Karan Johar's reaction to her nepotism comment). I felt it was unnecessary that when I was dealing with a vulnerable phase in my career; they were hitting out at me. 'Rangoon' was mounted on a humungous budget and publicised around my character. When something like that doesn't fare well, you do feel like sh't."

Kangana Ranaut in a still from Vishal Bhardwaj's 'Rangoon'

Ask her if she has done enough introspection and she agrees that the film lacked on many accounts. "The last few minutes didn't come together. We missed our shot at creating a glorious film by a small margin. It was indeed a difficult time dealing with that phase, but not as much as it might have been for a few other people involved with the project."

Does a flop on her resume put her in a weaker spot and restrict her from being her usual outspoken self?

"I am not outspoken because I feel I command a certain opening for films and enjoy a great deal of success at the movies. Even when my films don't do as well, I don't stop feeling strongly about issues. But I don't use opportunities of professional hallmark to lash out at people. I will speak regardless. I notice how people start talking irrationally if your film hasn't worked. Something tells me that if it had [worked], they would have stayed quiet."

Kangana says she is not one to waste time pondering over what didn't work. She is too busy focusing on the road ahead. "I have just wrapped up Simran. We will release the first poster in mid-May. I begin shooting for Manikarnika in June. My director, Krish, is in Jhansi for a recce. And the film I will direct is in the last leg of scripting," she adds, rising from her chair as her catwalk turn is announced at the Liva Creme launch event.