19 February,2022 11:45 AM IST | Mumbai | Tanishka D’Lyma
The booklet busts misconceptions around disability and sexuality. Design by Anjali Menon. PIC/COPYRIGHT OF POINT OF VIEW
Page 35 of this online booklet rightly notes that sex is not what it looks like in porn or movies. Presentations of sex and sexuality need to be overhauled to include perspectives from different communities. Point of View's seventh edition ebook Pyaar Plus: Talking Out Loud On - Sexuality and Disability is one effort to dismantle myths around sex and disability.
Sex is a natural part of human experience that has been made exclusive. The narrative of what it is supposed to be and who is allowed access to it is controlled by various factors. By sharing inclusive and varied experiences by people living with disabilities, this edition addresses ableist and normative narratives dominant in the film industry, the market for sex-health products and toys, sex education, and even personal beliefs.
"It's high time that the mic is passed on to disabled people to talk about their life, needs, wants and desires. This will help everyone to bust misconceptions and break taboos around disability and sexuality. It will also be beneficial for the non-disabled community because they're definitely missing out on some nuances by not engaging with disabled people in the context of pleasure and sex," says Sweta Mantrii, writer, stand-up comic, and disability inclusion enabler, whose videos on disability and masturbation are included in the booklet.
Put together collaboratively with disability consultants, content experts such as Agents of Ishq and sex educators, Zahra Gabuji, lead, Pyaar Plus, tells us that the goal was to build understanding and help young people with disabilities make informed decisions about themselves. The booklet, available in an MS Word document and PDF, works like a toolkit replete with resources in the form of illustrations, conversations, videos, how-to guides that can be accessed in different formats including transcribed texts. It's also designed as a journal for readers to take notes, explore thoughts and jot down their own experiences.
Throughout its pages, you will come across terms like bodymind, which explain that the body and mind affect and give rise to each other, which is an integral part of understanding and exploring pleasure. Another term is âsex with self' in place of masturbation. About this, Paromita Vohra, founder and creative director of Agents of Ishq, explains that the term can help readers to accept the idea of self-pleasure, understand their bodies and desires better, and usher in a culture of consent and mutual respect.
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The first thing that I noticed about the booklet is that it had no hard copy. Had it been printed, more people could read it and learn about the things that I learnt from it! It's not just informative and written in a way that's very easy to understand, but also intersectional and inclusive.
It was nice to actually be able to relate to what's written about the main topic - sex and relationships - that I, as a disabled person, find rare. In this ableist normative world, people are always infantilising us, especially when it comes to the topic of sex and non-platonic relationships. It gets frustrating when people say that we're supposed to be âinnocent' and âpure' just because we're disabled and that it's pointless for us to have the same desires that our able-bodied counterparts have. So, of course, I'm beyond grateful to be a part of the Revival Disability Community, which not only makes me feel heard and seen, but also helps me to learn, unlearn and relearn so many things - these include the importance of pleasure, being true to ourselves and how we, as a community, can bring about the changes in the society that can make it far more accessible for and accepting towards all kinds of folks.
Rhea Laskar, writer, poet and artist
