How to navigate a social scandal

Deepika Padukone. Pic/Instagram

In 2022, when a semi-famous influencer takes a misogynistic pot-shot at one of Bollywood's biggest female stars, it doesn't come as much surprise to know that he joins the long list of those to be ‘cancelled' by public outrage. Yes, reams have been written about the ongoing spat between Deepika Padukone and Freddy Birdy, but what's caught people's eye isn't so much his questionable opinion about what women should wear, but rather a minute-by-minute play-out of an adult man having a very public meltdown on the Internet. For those who've yet to catch up, Birdy is still ranting about being called out by the actor and, in a bid to salvage his reputation, had also made his Instagram profile private. But Birdy isn't the only victim of ‘cancel culture'. From FabIndia to Tanishq, major brands have faced the wrath of the Internet's self-proclaimed watchdogs about perceived slights or injustices, having to go to great lengths to salvage their reputation and standing with their customer bases. And, given the inherently democratic nature of social media, cancelling can be a powerful tool used by any disgruntled individual to get back at a former friend, professional acquaintance or romantic partner.

When personal is social

"When I decided to part ways with my ex, he deleted his social media account and expected me to do the same, in an act of mourning. But, as a struggling singer, I knew how important a tool social media was in connecting with my audience. So, despite my grief, I continued to put on a brave front and keep updating my feeds. It didn't take long for him to notice and then start calling me out for being a ‘hypocrite'.

Cancel culture can have a detrimental effect on a person's mental health. Representation pic

He convinced his friends to join him in his vitriolic attacks and certain members of his family also participated. At first, I was mortified about how this would affect my public image. I began to delete the comments - but for every comment I deleted, several more would pop up. I was at my wit's end," shares 28-year-old singer and artist Soumita Saha. She goes on to say that she suffered from panic attacks, anxiety and several sleepless nights. At a time when your social footprint can affect not only your social standing but also your image before potential recruiters, being at the receiving end of a targeted attack can be a significant concern.

Preksha Singhvee

"Being called out on social media can be a major emotional roller-coaster ride and a completely crippling moment, especially if you are part of a profession that demands having your presence on social media. Imagine facing rejection by your peer group. This causes a big fear because whether right or wrong, with or without all the facts, someone being cancelled or called out becomes everyone's business. In fact, what sometimes starts off as well-intentioned criticism also ends up getting carried away and turns into a public shaming exercise on social media," explains Shweta Powar, founder of Aria Communication.

Post with caution

While there's no saying what can inspire the wrath of someone with a motivated agenda, image consultant Greeshma Thampi shares a few ground rules to keep your bases covered, especially if you are at the receiving end of a social scandal:

Shweta Powar

>> Respond, don't react: "In stead of a knee-jerk reaction, take time to understand the message and the underlying emotion and reply when you are calmer. Reacting will only end in a war of words, without any constructive outcome," she explains.

>> Humour can backfire: What works within a small segment, may not be taken well or understood by a larger group. So be mindful of your tone, and intention behind your comments and posts.

>> Buy time: "In the wake of a controversy, it is best to stay quiet and wait for things to settle down. Fortunately, public memory is not very long-lived and people will soon move on to other matters. You can put forth your side of the story and provide any clarifications if needed," she says.

Greeshma Thampi

Preksha Singhvee, co-founder of Backbenchers, adds that it's also important to assess if speaking up will benefit you or your work in any way. If not, it is always better to take the high road and ignore the haters. "Sometimes, people attack you in the hope that you will stoop down to their level.

Misbah Quadri

You can never win with such individuals," she elaborates. Conversely, sometimes, a heartfelt apology when you've erred can help tide the storm, says Misbah Quadri, founder of Monofys Media: "Instead of walling a critical comment and minimising the mistake at an early stage, brands or individuals can make matters worse by adding fuel to fire. Successfully weathering reputation crisis storms means accepting complete responsibility of the situation at hand. Staying defiant in the face of absolute chaos, avoiding taking responsibility, constantly blaming others for deliberately conducting a smear campaign, responding with provocative comments to the original post, will accentuate negative attention costs."

Help is at hand

"Being called out, trolled or bullied results in anxiety, depression, low self-worth, and aggression, and could also cause a person to act out violently," explains counselling psychologist Namrata Jain. People can also develop social anxiety, with lasting effects, and experience loneliness and behavioural issues. To manage stress, she recommends:

Namrata Jain

1 Journal your thoughts and emotions when you feel stressed or anxious.
2 Your own self-talk can lower your esteem and worth. Dismiss your negative self-talk and create a positive script instead.
3 Talk to your loved ones about your feelings.
4 Join an online harassment support group. The experiences of others can help you to learn valuable coping mechanisms.
5 Time with a therapist will give you a safe space to vent. It helps you with techniques and handholding to better manage the anxiety, depression and self-esteem issues.